surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness

surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness
dear lord embrace me with your blessings


Monday, August 30, 2010

The end of a dilemma

And this post is a bit long.

She’s the one I don’t have to pretend with.
She’s the one I who knows me inside out.
She’s the one I don’t have to worry getting upset.
She’s the one who don’t bother correcting me.
She’s the one who accepts me when others are against me.

I’ve known her for 7 years. We’ve been playing the chase since we were 13. What’s with the chase?

I first met her in 2003; we were in the same dormitory back in a local premier school. Different classes, but with no one to lean on as a freshmen, we ended up crying on each other’s shoulder.

After 7 months, I got an offer letter from a boarding school. Mum kept urging me to go for some reason. I on the other hand was 50/50. I’d love to run away from the ridiculous problems with friends and seniors, but at the same time, it wasn’t easy to say goodbye to those who’ve been there for me. Holding on to ‘mum knows best’, I decided to leave for the new school. I didn’t stand a chance to properly bid everyone farewell, and the worst part was I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving but my classmates. Mum fetched me in a rush and, I could only sob silently. I met her before I leave, but the tears explained and nothing could be said.

Few days afterwards, I got a phone call from her saying that she too got the offer letter! By a thread of fate, we registered to a new school as the first batch. 5 years going through thick and thin; she was my deskmate for 3 years.

Just when we thought we’ll be apart from each other after graduated high school, once again luck was on our sides. I went to college and few months after that she followed me to the same college! A year of foundation, even though we were both in different courses, but still I would sleepover at her room over the weekends, I would called her up for dinner on a not-so-busy evening, I would get crazy along with her when things were so stress out.

But as a part and parcel of life, things can’t always go our way; we both now eventually we will go in our own different way. Now for instances, she’s in USIM main campus, Nilai, while I’m currently in USIM Pandan Indah campus.

But distance doesn’t really matter.

Aziey-Zwen bff 4ever

Yakusoku da yo ne

*it's a promise*

Alright as usual, those were the intro. What’s with the dilemma?

The thing is I’ve started my mid semester assessment this week; today to be exact (Biochemistry). Coming up is Physiology and Anatomy on Wednesday and Thursday respectively. To make it short, Aziey called me up for a hang out last Saturday (Between exam and Aziey? Oh lord!). But anyway, I still choose to go out, aware of Biochemistry paper the nest Monday.

She sketched this for me

Well, probably here comes the highlight.

When we were both walking at the mall, we ran into some friends from USIM; she was having a reunion with her high school friends. And all of a sudden, out of nowhere our pic was captured!

Aziey’s going to kill me for making this public!

And he tagged us of facebook. But hey, I’m not the type who’s going to let go that easy. So ladies and gentlemen I present to you, here is the so-called cameraman;

Interested in him? Feel free to add him on facebook then!/ahpem

Ps: note that I don’t take any commission doing this, I don't even know him.

and oh, Selamat Hari Kemerdekaan yg ke-53 btw

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Above all reasons

Above all reasons exist, why I’m so grateful for being a Muslim.
Ever answer it yourself? We sure are grateful for being one, but some never question why. Simply because we were born with it, it doesn’t mean we can just let it let go without knowing.

I know, you know and we all know His Raheem is abundant, no defy. But I only desire to throw one small insight that we might overlooked.
No matter who we are, where we stand, what we do, In front of Him we appear the same. What differ us in absolute is our devotions and faith to Allah; our Taqwa, that only The Almighty shall know.

No one is by right more superior than another. And those who pace with devoid of arrogance shall see the other Muslims as their brothers and sisters, not merely a lame human being.

And with this, we shall love each other lillahi ta’ala.

O Allah, The Owner of the Holy month Ramadhan and all the gratification and forgiveness in it

I pray to not let me go astray.
I pray to not let me go neglectful,

To always be grateful for being born as a Muslim.

Allah loves you

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

God has a fair way to repay us

On topic

Last Saturday, I had this one person I knew told me stories.
Ps: Original version has been adapted, this is the edited one.

She doesn’t cook. Getting married and then became a mother, she still refused to and often dined out from nearby food court. Turned out when this little boy of hers grew bigger, he said “Mama I don’t want to eat outside food, it doesn’t taste nice. I want mama to cook”. I still remember when I was his age and thought my parents as superheroes who can do everything. He must have reached that stage then. And she goes like “I really didn’t see this coming, and whether I want it or not I have to cook for him. God someone has a funny way to punish me” she said with a small chuckle. Well true enough. Come what may, life will eventually take its course. It’s just the matter of time and whether we would notice it.

Sipi-sipi nak masuk topic


I used to love the line ‘coincidence is everywhere’. Me and my BFF came out with that when we were 15 and too naïve about life. Growing older, we then realized that it is after all fate that we went through. Talking about it philosophy-wise coincidence holds synonym to accident, chance, luck, quirk, twist of fate.

So it was an accident when you bumped into someone you like, with a terrible look just right after you got off nap. Agree or not it’s your opportunity whether to turn it into a chance or yet let it be another unfortunate shameful event of the day. You could try your luck, saying ‘hi’ for instances. Well let’s just say you won’t go that advanced, but sometime soon just imagine if you were the one in his shoe and him in yours. All of all, it will clicked in your mind that the situation is turned around by a strange quirk of fate. And after all, it starts with a coincidence.

Off topic
The 6th Inter-faculty Scrabble was successfully held last Saturday and we got a very positive feedback from people. Credits to our director, Sayid Aiman as well the rest of committee members for the job well done.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Handle me

If attitude is contagious, is mine worth catching?

Change for good ain't no crime, and change for bad is a shame. That's all I can think of now. People used to say "It's not the same anymore, things aren't the way it used to be".
Hey wake up! Things don't change, we change.
Or at least, things change because we, people change.

Alright. But then when they say "People change".
So is this another unspoken public conspiracy to let go of those who changed for bad?
So when "People change" has became a fact rather than a result,
will this be an ultimate reason why people should change?
And regardless,
to be what we want to be, we must give up being what we are now
If only hesitation follows,
don't dare talk about changing

3 anecdotes
3 reasons
3 sentiments
1 girl
possibly more than 1 soul
Well, that's me.

Monday, August 16, 2010

On your birthday

The date was August 9, 2010 and I was appointed to be an unofficial guest to my housemate’s cousin’s birthday, Zuhra. The housemate is Syera by the way. Zuhra is turning 3 this year. This lucky girl is the only daughter out of 3 siblings and she loves Barney so much! The mother had designed a birthday cake specially for her.

Obviously it ain’t no biggies when your mum is a well known master baker. And Syera, I have to say that, she has a family full of cutie! This boy for instances;

He gave us some hard time being surpassed in person

Oh that was the Barney, brought exclusively for Zuhra.

The birthday girl with her aunt

And guess who I caught in glimpse

Hafiz Hashim with her daughter. Wife beside him, but like I care to capture anyway. Hafiz married to Syera’s mother’s causin.

All of all, credit to Syera. Thanks for inviting!

Well that was the intro. Here comes the main topic.

You see, I have a habit of not wishing people on their birthday (probably due to trouble remembering the date). I wonder if this has anything to do with me being an arithmophobic. Nope I don’t think so. I’ve no problem wishing my family members, but of friends yes (to my BFF Jaja, Aziey, Asilah, Dibah or anyone, sorry if I missed wishing you guys at times). I never bother to wish people on time. So the least I could do is to call them up out of self-conscious even if it’s a month late.

Hang on, what is it? Oh I did wish you on your birthday, and why is it? Is that what you’re trying to say? That’s easy. Might probably due to 3 things;

1. You reminded me a day before (including secretly writing some memos in my planner).
2. A friend of mine wished you and encouraged me to do so too.
3. Or it’s simply because I like you.

I could only say that much.

End of discussion.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The forgetful me

One night I heard a knock on my door;
Who can it be,I wasn't quite sure.
I open the door and am filled with glee;
The visitor ahead is no stranger to me.

I welcome the guest with utmost delight;
For I know it has come to give me respite.
An air of happiness fills the space;
My home now seems, a better place!

Have you any clue who this visitor could be?
Yes! It's Ramadhan, the month of mercy.
Welcome back Ya Ramadhan Kareem
Allahu Akram!

-Adapted from Asma Sadia, Ramadhan Poems & Quotes-

I believe I’m nothing near late to welcome the delightful month of Ramadhan even though today is the 2nd day. Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah for letting us to have another opportunity to celebrate it together. With the same mission; strengthen our Iman.

One reason why that literally dragged me posting apart from at least having one Ramadhan post is a subject concerning responsibility.

Even said by Imam Ghazali to his pupil; the heaviest thing in this world is Amanah. Once one is given an Amanah, that is considered a responsibility that he has to carry. Nobody loves responsibility. But when it’s something that you’re born with, you have to live with it. Believe it or not, we are born to be a leader; being a khalifah, first to lead ourselves and eventually the Ummah.

Talking about leadership that is supposed to be nurtured inside out, ain’t no easy thing. I for instances, walking down the memory lane of my school days; being a leader back in school, nothing much had bothered me (maybe I was too young to care). Being an Imam for solah, being a naqibah for usrah, giving tazkirah. But with older age, comes greater responsibility. I wonder why the inner strength of mine is such gradually disappearing.

So in tandem with the holy Ramadhan, I’m trying to find the missing part of me. Dear Lord, give me strength.

Just a reminder to the forgetful me.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

of YUI

I would have got me falling in love, if possible! I feel so gay right now. YUI-sama aishiteru!
YUI is a Japanese pop singer who first debuted back in 2004 when she passed the Sony Label Record audition singing her 3 self-composed songs. She sure got some real music there.
Up until present with over 20 singles and 6 albums (she wrote ‘em all!), she’s the divinity of jpop.

1st album [From me to you 2005]

2nd album [can’t buy my love 2006]

3rd album [I loved yesterday 2008]

4th album [my short stories 2008]

5th album [it’s all too much/never say die 2009]

Then she made a soon comeback in 2010 with 2 singles and an album

Single [Gloria January 20, 2010]

Single [to mother June 2, 2010]

6th album [holidays under the sun july 14, 2010]

Got all fired up after reading my post? Don’t know where to start? Let me give so some tips;

To start with having a kyuu/dokidoki - urgent, sudden, steep, strong rhythm feeling
Try to listen to [how crazy] or [just my way]

Or to get a Kutsurogu – to relax, to feel at home feeling
Try to listen to [tomorrow’s way] or [why me]

p/s: After listening then you tell me whether or not YUI has a trace of Gita Gutawa’s and Justin Bieber’s voice as I claimed in my old blog entry.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

A little bit of things Verse 2

1. Otsukaresamadeshita! (Thank you for the hard work!)

The scrabble thingy is still on

My apology! It was really my fault. Actually the email has arrived for days, unfortunately they went into my spam box; all 3 of them (and I wonder why). Sorry for making it be sent via instant message over and over again.

P/s: to those who might concern only.

2. The Rules of Love by Richard Templer

The first thing I noticed when I hopped into my sis’ car last Saturday was this book that she’s reading. LOL she often met the wrong guy and made her go like “I’m not looking for a boy friend; I need someone who can marry me!” She’s 24 in fact. Good luck looking dear sis.

3. Words aren’t just words – follow up

‘Guys honestly, do I look snobbish to you? Please respond’

That was my previous shout out on facebook. It’s great having some friends commenting. But I think there’s some kind of misunderstanding here. I wonder why were those all male respondents. The thing is I didn’t mean guys to be just the gentlemen, but it should be referring to people. Or in short, I was actually anticipating to receive responds from both genders.
‘Guys’ does not necessary mean the XY genes, unless if it’s obviously distinct that I’m talking of them as the subject.
Guy – (informal) a group of people of either sex (Oxford)

4. Of Biochemistry lecture

How come the gentlemen can answer Prof Iman’s after-lecture questions loudly and confidently everytime. Seriously! How many billion miles per hour you guys’ brains interpret things?

5. Of KLPAC report
I wonder why these people were so excited asking Ms Q to read aloud some reports to the KLPAC. But hey, I’m looking forward if she were to read mine aloud (winks)

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Me feeling inferior? Seriously!

We medical students love hanging out on Saturday, aren’t we? I had a girls-hung out yesterday with my sister along with her 3 BFFs; Asma, Loi (a Chinese girl), Syana (pregnant at the moment). These girls are 24 and since some claimed I looked older than my supposed age, I was surprisingly able to fit in. They’re going to graduate on the coming 5 August, of TESL degree. It was cool.

Well, there are only 2 times when I will put extra effort to look good.

1. When I hang out with my sister
We were often told we looked pretty much alike, twins sometimes. But it’s not anymore recently. My sister is really good when it comes to makeup. She often updates her way of doing so, which left me who is obviously zero in it unable to catch up. Who says sisters can’t be intimidated by each other? Wearing flip flop, plain blouse, no makeup, no accessories, is a no-go when I’m walking side by side with her. It would seem like a ‘bibik’ and the goddess. Of course I love my sister, but yet there’s something about her self-confident that makes me hate her so much. One time we hung out and I put on an orange lipstick given by mum. The color is perfect but my lips were too dry for it. I turned to her and went “hey my lips are dry, maybe it’s because of the climate. But how come yours aren’t?” and she was like “well, that’s my strength. Even though I’ve got eczema, my lips don’t crack”. Freaking sister! She’s beautiful, she’s good in turning her complexion flawless under her makes, she's got smaller eyes, she’s slimmer (funny how she fits an M-sized skirt and I don’t), and some more she’s photogenic. But above all she’s a real one strong and independent girl I knew, I love her.

Yep that's her

Keep on trying hard to look good

2. When I’m in love


“Oh my god, is that pink? Mika, pink is not your color and you don’t wear pink lipstick unless you’re in love”
-Koizora (sky of love) episode 2-

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...