surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness

surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness
dear lord embrace me with your blessings


Wednesday, May 25, 2011

This decision

Rubik's cube

Have you ever gotten all 6 sides to match?
Once you know the trick, anyone can solve it easily
Let’s approach it philosophically
For example you throw away the trash in your pocket
To think about the fact that your pocket is cleaner because you threw out the trash, but do you think about how the trash you threw away has made the city dirtier?
That’s why this cube, if you think about getting one side to be all one color and go to move it then turn it one way, the other sides will change too right?

What effects does a single action have on its surroundings?
Well what’s more impostant, is the person able to become aware of it?
It’s just a tiny toy, yet it’s strangely philosophical

-Jdrama, Voice episode 5-

As I quote my post on circumstance that make happen

‘When is it that you noticed you’ve grown so much?
That you’re no longer that small, innocent, and naïve?

When each decision you make mustn’t be all about yourself?’

Achieving a win-win situation is harder than many have given credit for.

This decision takes into account who I was, who I am and what I’ll become
And if I really were to decide, it’s gonna be one of the biggest decision in my life.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Green surpasses greener

The grass is greener on the other side

How many of us grow up believing this?
How many of us grow up believing this and stop believing?
How many of us grow up believing this and keep believing?

To those who still believe, maybe it’s time to stop.

To think everybody else is luckier, that’s only because one can’t see how lucky he/she is.

Maybe it doesn’t always have to be greener to feel luckier. Surrounded by red during autumn could bring you happiness too, or white in winter.

Or even simply green





Many looked too much on what they don’t possess, and overlooked what they do.

Ps: it’s good to be reminded green surpasses greener once in a while
Pss: and yea, simply green can't be that bad

Thursday, May 19, 2011

You taught me all the important things

This is a story about my ex-crush. I hope this entry won’t be too personal.

I first met him 2 years ago when I was 19, he was quite a villain back then; playing truant, picking up fights etc but still he caught my eyes seriously I don’t know why.

But yeah along the years he remained a crush; stalking him from afar. 2 years passed and I watched him turning into a better person. Recently I met him and he’s changed totally!

But it’s too heartbreaking when I know he’s getting married.

Who do you have in mind? And I’m talking about Miura Haruma.

2 years ago I first watched him as the main cast of Gokusen season 3; playing the role of a spoil kid. Playing a stereotyped role (middle/high school student) in all his dramas I’ve watched before;

14 sai no haha (14 year-old mother), 2006
Gokusen 3, 2008
Bloody Monday, 2008
Samurai High School, 2009
Bloody Monday 2, 2010

Recently he acted for a comeback drama called Taisetsu na Koto wa Subete Kimi ga Oshiete Kureta (You Taught Me all the Important Things) playing role as a young teacher named Kashiwagi Shuji along with Toda Erika as Uemura Natsumi. It’s too awkward watching him acting as an adult, but yeah he brought the role well.

Toda Erika and Miura Haruma at the drama press conference

And btw it’s not that he’s getting married in real life, just some plot of the drama.

I don’t feel like reviewing the drama right now so I’ll just copypaste the synopsis from DramaWiki.

Toda Erika and Miura Haruma play 2 teachers, Uemura Natsumi and Shuji Kashiwagi, at the same high school who are set to get married in half a year. However, the night before the school year’s opening ceremony, Shuji becomes involved with the young Saeki Hikari (played by Takei Emi), without realizing that she will be a student in his class starting the next day. As Shuji struggles to help Hikari deal with the mental complex she’s suffering from, he’s also torn inside by his betrayal of Natsumi. Meanwhile, Hikari attempts to get closer to Natsumi, driven by feelings of jealousy and a desire to destroy the couple’s relationship

It’s a sad story, but the ending is not very actually. One scene that gave me a kyuun~ feeling most is when Shuji accompany Natsumi to try out her bridal gown, it was then when Natsumi knew what happened between Shuji and Hikari, seeing a girl crying in her wedding dress makes me so emotional.

Anyway, it’s a nice drama to watch ^^

Ps: did I disappoint anyone? lol

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Ignore the equation and take moral of the story

As long as we’re named human
We all make mistakes and we all apologize
Forgiving isn’t easy but that’s another story

People do bad to you, you hate them
They apologize, you didn’t forgive
You do bad to them back instead
No matter how much you think of it
It won’t cancel each other

Do bad thing = -2
Being done bad thing to = +1
Apologize = +1
Not apologizing = -1
Forgiven/forgiving = +1
Not forgiven/not forgiving = -1

Situation 1; A do bad to B, B do bad to A

Do bad thing + being done bad to + not apologizing + not forgiven = (-2) + 1 + (-1) + (-1) = -3 (for A and B)

Situation 2; A do bad to B

Verse 1 (apologize and forgiven)
Case A
Do bad thing + apologize + forgiven = (-2) + 1 + 1 = 0 (for A)
Case B
Being done bad thing to + forgiving = 1 + 1 = 2 (for B)

Verse 2 (apologize and not forgiven)
Case A
Do bad thing + apologize + not forgiven = (-2) + 1 + (-1) = -2 (for A)
Being done bad thing to (B) + not forgiving = 1 + (-1) = 0 (for B)

Does apologize has circumstances?

Superior doesn’t have to, only the inferior
Elder doesn't have to, only the younger
Saint doesn't have to, only the bitch

You ask me, I’ll say ‘only b*st*rds think that’

Ps: my math sucks, ignore the equations

Moral of the story
1. Apologize if you made a mistake
2. Try to forgive and forget
3. Doesn't mean those who done bad to you deserve you do bad to them in return
4. Doesn't mean those who done bad to you deserve no apology from you if you do bad to them back

Pss: truth is, good and bad never cancels each other; eventhough bad is negative and good is positive, you did both, you got both; it won’t turn zero until Allah grant you mercy inshaAllah.

Psss: see, I told you to ignore the equations and take moral of the story. End of discussion

Monday, May 16, 2011

Tagged by Aiman

I've kept this pending for weeks. All because of the Melaka sequel, but never mind.

Apa benda paling penting dalam hidup korang?

Benda yang terakhir korang beli guna duit korang?
Gula sekilo

Di mana tempat korang langsungkn perkahwinan korang?
2 kali receptions, rumah pengantin lelaki and perempuan. Kalau ramai sangat guest, kat dewan besar la kot.

Adakah korang sedang bercinta sekarang?
I’m in love with him (3rd from left)

Berapa lama korang akan mencintai kekasih korang?
Ah, tak lama ni (refer to previous question)

Di mana korang selalu jumpa kekasih korang?

Novel/buku/majalah terakhir korang beli?
Fotostat compilation past years punya pro exam question (teruknya bahasa)

Apakah nama penuh korang?
Zawani Zainudin –short and simple-

Antara mak n ayah mana paling rapat?

Namakan org betul2 korang nak jumpa dalam hidup korang?
Hiruma Youichi, nak amek gambar ngan dia

Adakah korang basuh baju korang sendiri?
Ye guna mesin basuh

Tempat yang betul-betul korang nak pergi?
Kelas piano and violin

Pilih salah satu, peluk atau ciuman?
Hugs! ^^

Bagitau 3 benda orang yang bagi kamu tag
Aiman? She's irresistibly sweet! :D

Benda yang paling disayangi dalam hidup korang
malas nak jawab

Lagu yang paling korang suka dengar?
All-time favourite playlist in my lappy

Bila tarikh lahir korang dan tempat selalu korang sambut?
December 24, depan kek

List 5 org kena tag

the devil smile~

Trip to Melaka (finale)

Let's make it short

Basically the 6 parts of my trip to Melaka entries are to sum everything up (or was I actually reporting the whole thing?)

Thanks to everyone who joined. Thanks to Dijat and Ummu for welcoming us to your houses.

And this post is specially dedicated to Adah, you’re a great co-pilot*! ^^

Adah, front most

*compare to Aiman’s co-pilot who’ll drift to dreamland right after aboard ;P

Ps: now that this trip entries have completed, yay! I can post on other things.

Trip to Melaka part 6

A girl’s dream comes true

This trip entries got too many parts don’t you think?

Every girls dream is to marry their prince charming, and that’s what happened to Kate Middleton (okay I shall address her as Catherine now)

My prince charming?

Nah~ that’s not what I’m talking about. Ever heard about sand art? The one where you have kinda sticker drawing and you peel out the sticker little by little and scoop some colourful sand on ‘em.

I do acknowledge this thing exist since I was a kid and always wanted to do one but never did.

And that day while walking around Mahkota Parade, seeing the setup sand art materials inside the bookshop before my eyes invites the lil girl soul inside of me out. And I thought to myself ‘I want to do that!’ by hook or by crook.I don’t care if people are looking and think I age way too off to do sand art.

So I paid at the counter and off I started

Which is cuter? Right or left? ;P

And that’s what I call a girl’s dream comes true

Ps: Didi thanks for accompanying me finishing the sand art!
Pss: Cinderella’s isn’t glass slipper, it’s fur instead!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Trip to Melaka part 5

Hello Bandar Hilir

Tuesday (May 3)

This post might contain extra pics than usual. So let’s let ‘em speak ^^

Our original plan was to go to another theme park; Wonderland Waterpark (is it what it’s called?). Anyways, since playing hours in water the day before worn us out a bit so we decided to just walk around town ^^

Menara Taming Sari -the 1st revolving tower in Malaysia-

tap, tap, tap 'do you think this glass is safe?' She said

selepas turun :)

And the camwhoring session around town continues...

Up next, a girl’s dream comes true. Please anticipate ^^

Trip to Melaka part 4

Now that was something*

*Let me warn you, this might ain’t that interesting

Checked in at Umbai homestay somewhere past 8pm, it was a super nice house with 5 bedrooms, super wide living room, kitchen, refrigerator, tv bla..bla..for RM150/night.

the homestay

living room

After some ‘lepak-ing’, off we went to eat ikan bakar!

Now that is something verse 1

Dear Didi
If you’re reading this post, yes it’s gonna be about you (winks~)

You see, the thing is Didi doesn’t like cats, she never does. I don’t know whether the word is terrified or scared or disgusted or phobia etc. And often it makes me wonder why she has to end up having unfortunate events with this feline species.

Remember the time we had our kursus sembelihan months ago? When the stray cat comfortably landed on your backpack and we captured photos just to make fun of you? (Damned why did I delete the pic?); if I still got that pic back then and compile along the pic Tasniim took that night during our ikan bakar session, those definitely could be evidence Didi always has bad fortunes with cats.

Though the incident that night made way for your tears
Ouh Didi darling, I still love you the way you are (hehe. Mushy tak? ^^)

Now that was something verse 2

What I hated when hanging out with my sis is she always has the attention (of the opposite gender obviously), I wish I could be in her shoes once in a while (but actually I am when she isn’t around).

It has been quite sometime since I gotten the phone numbers talks and all, but an incident that night just made me.

Sitting at the far-end of the long table and being approached. I smiled and thought ‘oh, the waiter’…..’or maybe not’ as he handed me a paper and said

‘Kalau sudi call la’


Ps: see, I warned ya~
Pss: ouh, but I left the paper on that table since we moved to another because of Didi’s incident. Didi’s incident? Lol :D

Up next, Hello Bandar Hilir! Please anticipate ^^

Psss: I don’t know what took me so long to update as well

Trip to Melaka part 3

Learnt our lesson

We’re ought to be out of the waterpark by 6pm. Out of the water and had our late lunch, off to shower room a quarter to 6. It was passed 6 by the time we stepped out of the changing room to find our way to surau when it was raining heavily.

While half of the girls had already dashed in the storm earlier, so we thought to ourselves ‘there’s no way to get to the surau without getting wet over again. So why don’t we wait a lil longer’

Unfortunately storm didn’t get any better and it was already half past 6. First thing first ‘kat mane nak solat ni?!’

We’ve gone asking a row of shops there if they’ve got any staff room or rest room; a lil space for us to pray, but the answers were negative. Last hope, got to the entrance and asked the staff and they led us to a medical personnel cubicle Alhamdulillah.

After praying, then we made a phonecall asking whether the girls at surau were okay; obviously they got stranded there. Since the place suppose to be empty by 6pm, the staff even thought of rescuing them out of there, luckily rain gotten better and we managed to survive out of the theme park.

2 among the stranded victims

Lesson learnt: always pray on time; don’t know what’ll happen next!

And that night, made our way to Umbai for a night at the homestay.

Up next, ikan bakar Umbai and the ‘interesting’ incidents, please anticipate ^^

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Trip to Melaka part 2

Attention to all FPSK?!

When was your earliest memory of worrying your mum by gone M.I.A (read:missing in action) in a shopping mall or such and your name, your age, what you wear, your height etc was announced in public?

Just when you thought being 20 years old made you end up missing giving mum that ‘fun’ of worrying, it isn’t that case with us.

That ‘baking’, ‘melting’ hot Monday afternoon and we reached Afamosa Waterpark. ‘Water-ing’ under the sun, glad I put on sunscreen earlier.

Fatin is always the domestic type, acting as our so-called ‘ketua rombongan’ she already reminded us to just play nearby while waiting for Tikah to come all the way from Pantai Klebang to Afamosa (Tikah, thanks for the yummy coconut shake! ^^)

Klebang Original coconut shake!

20 minutes passed and we (half of the girls including me) realized we had lazily walked, pseudoswam and splashed ourselves in the water further away from the rendezvous point.

‘eh, don’t you think we’ve played too far?’
‘alah, takpe. They’ll find a way to find us la later’

And yeah, they really found a fantastic way to find us ‘missing’ girls

‘Perhatian kepada Zawani, Noor Aiman, Nur Zahidah dari FPSK, sila hadirkan diri anda di…..bla…bla… rakan anda sedang menunggu’

Shoot! They used the theme park’s PA system?!

And I can see clearly why they used FPSK instead of USIM. Pffftt~

And there went the announcement in the air few times while we were running like hell; awkward hearing your names called though most likely no one around knows you right? Nice idea girls~ but our stories with that PA system didn’t end there.

After 2 hours of climbing up stairs, sliding high speed slides etc, suddenly Intan realized her purse is missing. So we ‘snorkel’ ourselves along the lazy river once again while another half went searching other places. Suddenly;

‘Perhatian kepada adik Intan Athirah, beralamat….bla…bla….sila claim dompet anda di…bla…bla…’

Thank god there still exist honest people in this world returning the purse, or else I bet Intan won’t be able to enjoy our trip till its end.

So we looked at each other and burst into laughter. What? Don’t blame us for we’re born being taught to utilize facilities to the fullest.

Up next, got stranded inside the waterpark due to the storm, please anticipate ^^

climbed those

high speed slides

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Trip to Melaka part 1


Monday (May 2)

Off us 14 girls to Melaka; supposedly there are 15 of us, but Lel turned down few days before, so we picked Tikah on the way.

3 cars, 3 drivers; Intan, Aiman, me

Among the 3, I consider myself being the most amateur. But hell with that, all 3 of us end up 140 on road (mum’s gonna kill me if she knows!) (Bak kata Aiman ‘melayang viva!’)

Made exit at Merlimau and while waiting for Dijat to pick us up;

See that greenish silver viva at the back? That’s the only manual car out of the 3, and while waiting can’t remember how many pairs of hand turning its steering, changing its gear, putting down its handbreak (ada yang lupa turunkan handbrake, gabra punya pasal?). Seriously how many of us could still recall driving manually after sometime speeding up auto cars?

As a result, the car made few laps around the car park at Merlimau exit and people there were looking at us with amused faces.

The pic that caused me an emergency brake with smoked tyres!!

Then we had great meals at Dijat’s house and off we went to Afamosa Waterpark; that’s gonna be the next entry ^^

Ps: btw yeah that greenish silver viva is mine, oppss my mum’s. hehe~
Pss: well honestly, I don’t see what’s with posting these entries in few go(s) either when I obviously can in one


Some people can’t handle milk
Except in case of lactose intolerance,
There are as well those who refuse because they’re not use to

Perhaps some people are just too conservative
Just like eating spicy foods
If so then I’m in no place to complain

True, some people are just too conservative

Ps: still working on the trip to Melaka entries, I’ve got a lot to tell just as much as I realized I’ve got a lot I shouldn’t tell! Ouh~ being oxymoron…

Pss: believe me, I know I'm a week late already


How much sentences typed and deleted?
How much lines went in and out of mind and forgotten?
How much draft outlined and ignored?
How much pieces done and edited?
Over again…

Because I don’t want you to know as much as I do…

Pssss: erk, tibe2 je...


Thursday, May 5, 2011

6 out of 11

What could be more soothing than sitting on bed sipping fresh milk in front of lappy after a 6-9pm ride?

Feels like home
Smells like home
I’m home!
Home sweet home


I’m actually all-excited to spill out my trip to Melaka, okay our trip (read: the 15 girls) to Melaka! But don’t worry, that should be put in queue; I’ll start my sequel later.

Like I said about the chain routine; exam-packing-holidays axis, me overcoming my packaphobia it wasn’t that bad. But yeah sometimes you just need something to boost you up; having 2 roommates who pack things at the very last minute (a day before going back to Kelantan, and yeah I’m talking bout you girls; Reen and Hawa -winks-), I can’t help but to start packing late too. Having hard time is a must, but Alhamdulillah all done.

6 lucky pairs to be brought home after a strict selection; another 11 pairs selamat tinggal kat common house.

Talking about common house, I consider myself lucky (along with other late-packers) since we got to settle our stuff in A16-06 instead of squeezing ‘em into the overcrowded common house.

Only either or, leaving stuff there for 4 months; oh dear I hope I left the right stuff.

So coming up next is the trip to Melaka entries. Please anticipate (^^)v

Ps: 6 out of 11, excluded 2 pairs to the dumpster (broken pairs)

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Circumstance that make happen

Growing up

We breathe everyday living, getting another day older
When is it that you noticed you’ve grown so much;
That you’re no longer that small, innocent, and naïve?

When you wake up in the morning to find out you can’t fit into jeans bought 2 years ago?
When you’re confident enough to drive a car without mum sitting at the side?
When sitting in a playground started inviting flashbacks?
When flipping over old photo albums and you’ll go “I missed those days”
When you’re able to forgive and forget hurt feelings?
When you know the time has come for you to stop crying?
When each decision you make mustn’t be all about yourself?

Someone said this to me

‘Don’t rush to grow up, live your life one at a time’

Only sometimes growing up, it is circumstances that make happen

Just don't be adult before time

Ps: if I look awkward, it’s because I am
Pss: tasted the choc, love it! ^^v

Who knows best

How many of us live up believing

“Mum knows best”

How many of us by then thought occasionally

“Mum doesn’t necessarily knows best”

How many of us gradually forgetting

“He knows best”

But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not (2:216)

And things happen for a reason…

Happy Mother's Day in advance!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...