surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness

surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness
dear lord embrace me with your blessings


Saturday, March 23, 2013

That was a wrap

Yesterday was pretty much a wrap for my 9 weeks Internal Medicine 1 posting. Had my clinical exam last Monday and theoretical papers followed on Thursday and Friday. Alhamdulillah.

Being a medical student you can’t really runaway from feeling bored hanging out too long at the hospital, with all the log book requirements we need to chase after, completing and observing procedures, enhancing history taking and physical examination skills, making yourself ‘at home’ while so-called tagging along with the Houseman Officer (HO) on night calls. I’m not gonna lie, sometimes I do self-grant myself a half-day but truthfully this rotation had been fun.

This rotation had collectively left me taken. I can't quite figure out what but maybe I am in love. Was. I was in love. One thing for sure I walked out of the examination hall yesterday seeing myself as a different person (perhaps another posting more mature). As I was shading the OMR form "gosh it's the 8th semester" it was among the moment I gotten fascinated to how far I've gone to in this field.

I met a lot great people whom just their presence would give you an unspoken inspiration. I met a lot of strong-willed and determined people who despite the hard time they're in would constantly be optimistic and give you encouragement instead.

Comparing General Surgery and Internal Medicine I think the latter is way harder with more syllabus to cover. I don't know how Internal Medicine could be intimidating but interesting at the same time.

Coming next is Obstetric & Gynecology. Really looking forward to it.

I wish doctors are really this cool

 Ps: No one walk as elegant as a group of anesthetist in a Medical ward.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

Currently addicted to #1

Here's Andrew Garcia's original. Dumb.

Simple. Beautiful. Sweet. With a pure and innocent vibe exactly how you would feel if you're in love.

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

On getting exam moods

The moment I opened my mouth, I knew it he was not gonna go easy on me

That was what I thought at the beginning of my case presentation and I thought right. He was not gonna go easy on me. The doctor I mean.

Since I haven’t been updating very frequently here (despite some emo post that probably no one ever understand about) to those who weren’t catching up I am currently doing my Internal Medicine rotation. This is already week 8 and week 9 that is next week is gonna be my end of posting exam.

Back to my case presentation; the thing about us medical student is we always wanted an overly impossible fantastic case to present. Pneumonia? Asthma? COPD? Diabetes Mellitus? Hypertension? Heart failure? Nah those are all too mainstream. We want poorly rehabilitated post-stroke patient with limb weakness complicated by hypoglycemia due to uncontrolled diabetes. We want recurrent angina in a patient of a known case of atrial fibrillation complicated by toxic goiter with an undiagnosed cardiac failure. We want a patient with spontaneous bacterial peritonitis whom a known case gross ascites secondary to cirrhotic liver disease with history of oesophageal varices banding done and currently developing hepatic encephalopathy apart from having uncontrolled diabetes and not compliance to medication.

Those fancy cases. I doubt I even know how to diagnose hypertension and cardiac failure yet. Let alone to assess the whole diabetes mellitus complication. Or the bronchial asthma control.

Exam in another few days.

It’s ironic how I’d always find my writing mood comes at an inappropriate time. In fact most of my mood came at the wrong time.

I opened a large bag of chips and chilling in front of my laptop not on Friday night, but Friday morning.

I was all pumped out to clean up my room and do laundry on Monday morning.

I feel like updating this blog just when exam is a few days away though most of other days I was pretty much not occupied.

To conclude my Internal Medicine posting so far

 There. Good luck for exam guys.

Oh and girls.

Saturday, March 9, 2013

I cannot reach you

It's funny how at one point, you've loved someone more than words could ever say. And you can never say it to them anymore. It sucks how after all these whiles then only you noticed you've been taking them for granted. Things have gone too comfortable that you thought nothing is suppose to be done to express it.

Worse is when they're just right next to you all the time but you're unable to reach them anymore.
And when that happened you know all you can do is look at them. Hoping they would notice this loneliness in your eyes that longs for attention.

At this point it was not funny anymore. It's heartbreaking.

I wonder if I've stopped trying.

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