surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness

surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness
dear lord embrace me with your blessings


Saturday, February 27, 2010

HoW aisha atisya gOt its NaME

Aisha Atisya? What? Who? Well that’s my name kinda. I’ve been using the name ever since I was 10 up until I was 15 before I came out with the name Zwen. It wasn’t like people call me Aisha Atisya or anything. I used it a lot as pen name; sending masterpiece to school magazines and FYI that’s my email address and people acknowledged it. Most of the time they’ll ask ‘why Aisha Atisya, what’s with it?’ And now let me reveal it.

It actually comes from a song; Just a Friend by Too Phat, back in the middle 90s when hip hop was so in trend. Every kid just wishes to put on cap and baggy jeans and sweaters and snickers. My sis, my bro and I were 1 of it. We used to try to rap along songs and guessing lyrics had become madness for all of us (simply because we don’t have internet to Google for lyrics back then). Somehow maybe it has turned into a habit that I love to listen to songs over and over again to detail the lyrics. Somewhere is the lyrics was where I heard this name Aisha Atisya being mentioned, the part where Malique wishes to name his baby with if she’s a baby girl. Here’s the lyrics:

Verse 1 ( Malique )
have you ever met a gurl that you thought was perfect
you waited for her years 'cause you know she worth it
here's a lil' story bout this gurl i knew
since way back in pre-school sometime in '82
she had 'em two pony tails and a front tooth missin'
wit' freckles on her cheeks cause the moms caucasian
up on a tree house is where we chilled together
with carvings on the trunk saying friends forever
she the type who laugh when the normally cried
and when they busy playing house we playin' bonnie and clyde
in grade school everybody knew we partners in crime
we used to bully kids in playgrounds like all the time
we always seen holdin' hands to the principal's office
the naughtiest in town and could no other kid stop us
in high school she switched her desk next to mine
so we could cheat while doing pop quizzes all the time
14th of February '93
little Jenny said she had a big surprise for me
gave me the very kiss and plus a ring and a card
and said I love you, so I gave her the rest of my heart
a couple of weeks later called her house at 10
the mama said I thought you suppose to be with Jen
I quickly rushed to the crib, she just got out of a van
I'm like yo who was that?
oh he's just a friend.....

Chorus 2X you, you got what I need
but you say he's just a friend,
but you say he's just a friend

Verse2 ( Malique )
so I took Jenny's word for it at this time
I thought just having a friend it couldn’t be no crime
'cause even I have friends and baby that for sure
just like Watson, Hailee, Baby Tash and Joe
so we never talked about that late snack with van man
we rather talk about the future we have planned and
what to name our kids, al-Tarique or Shaymar?
Ayesha, or Tisha for a gurl and maybe even bring our
kids to that little tree house that we chilled at
but then in '94 I couldn’t help it but feel sad
Jenny had to leave me to go get a little knowledge
100 miles away in this place they call college
first couple of months it was cool but then it changed yo
she never called and really acted like a strange ho
one day I called it was picked up by a man
I called again, she picked it up and said
hey that's just a friend

Bridge ( VE )
You know, I know what you been up to
I know you know what you been up to

this guy in her study group's the one who picked up the call
helpin' her in chemistry wit cyclohexanol
I got curious and asked her who else in ya team?
she said Ali, Hassan, Noreen and Kareem
the next week I thought of givin' her a little suprise
but when in front of Jenny's dorm I cound't believe my eyes
I saw the same ugly van I saw in '93
I found her room but guess what a brother had to see?
a fella half naked with my gurl on the couch
and baby Jenny moaning, uh uh ah and ouch
so please listen to the message that I sing
don't ever talk to a gurl who says
she just has a friend


Verse 3 ( Joe Flizzow )
a lil' casanova pimp, man I had my flings
hoodrats to goodie hoodies I was lil' playa king
I'll tell ya when, my final year in '96
this hunny new in skool joined my class she really sick
she made her pinafore look like a dress from Rodeo,
and clean white shoes lookin' Ferra than Gamo's,
and white blouse seemed whiter than everybody else's
just like them ads on tv man this hunny was the nicest
I had to step up my game and I told her my name
she said her name was Wanda I found out
that we lived on the same street she moved in 5 blocks down
and after 3 dates and 6 banana splits I had it locked down
we was tight but had this lil's problem though
'cos Wanda always acted funny when wit' Mary Joe
but when I caught'em kissin it wasnt funny no more
baby smiled and just said she's just a friend yo.......

There, the song is long don’t you think? Well it is. Never mind, just skip it. Now you can imagine how we’d stick our ears to a speaker just to listen to it LOL. Now here's the part, it is verse 2, line 8

Ayesha, or Tisha for a gurl and maybe even bring our kids to that little tree house that we chilled at

Well, it didn’t really spelled as such but good enough for our hearing sense ain’t it? And that was it, the nostalgic part of Aisha Atisya.

p/s: to those who wishes to the song, you can click to this link

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

EnGLiSH GetAwAy FeeDBacK

As someone who personally loves English so much, of course I can’t wait for the program initially and even after arriving. To say generally, it was a job well done for everyone; the organizer, lecturers in charge, staffs, facilitators, and all my classmates. Honestly what I have in mind was that, everyone is actually able to speak English and some of us are really good. I’ve been mingling around these friends of mine (all 56 of them) for more than 7 months now, and only during the English Getaway that I managed to realize everybody’s English are good in the average. The main reason why as we can see is because the rule is to speak fully in English, so whether we like it or not we’ve to follow. From my observation, even though the first 2 hours were a bit awkward but we didn’t take longer time to get ourselves used to the rule. It was fun to have such an English environment even in the dormitories, cafeteria, in the wash room, while playing at the beach and while conducting other indoor and outdoor games. I believe this only happened because each and every one of us was given such ‘chance’ to fully speaking in English. To be compared if we are in classes and normal daily routines, even if there will be a few fellow who are so enthusiastic to use English but because of the majority unintentional inhibition, we still can’t have a nice English environment which I think is unfair for the minority fellow who wishes so much to improve their English. Whether it is because of mentality or personality is another thing.

The activities that we had were so interesting and to be truth, the sand castle building part, it was my first time doing it. Thinking about building a sand castle along with my so-called adult friends at the age of 20 and won it, I’d fall on the floor laughing. Indoor activities were well-planned. I’m lying if I’m not amused by these people’s style. Again during the useful item slot, I was so surprised when most of my friends were actually very good in debating; presenting points, elaborating creatively, convincing people and provoking. After seeing this I had bear in mind to be more careful to talk to them the next time LOL. The idea of holding every activity untold until the end of another is actually the best rather than distributing the tentative. One is because we’ll be extra eager to know what the next activity is and second is because I especially will be down if any of the activities planned can’t be carried out due to short of time. If I were to find flaws of this Getaway, I can’t think of any major one, or precisely I can’t find any flaw at all. Maybe because I love English so much that just enjoying it is enough for me.

At the end of the Getaway, I can see in people’s faces how they are actually surprised themselves to know their own English ability is not that bad. Right after the closing ceremony, while we were having lunch together and while packing our stuff in the dormitories, of course there will be no more marks deducted for speaking Malay, it was just after 2 days building the English environment it is such a waste to speak in Malay and it feels kind of awkward too. And even now I still can hear my friends speaking in English during free times. I have to say the spirit is still there and I hope I will always be there.

p/s: fyi this English Getaway was held in Kompleks Falak Al-Khawarizmi in Tanjung Bidara Melaka. Got no idea to update my blog so simply post this, hopefully my fella out there ada la sket idea camne nak wat feedback ni. hehe. btw i'm doin this back in Glenview Villa when the whole of Glenview apartment and all part of Kg Cheras Baru was in a blackout!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

LoVE iS iN tHe aiR

It’s February and they said the month is synonym with the month of love. Why? Because people celebrate Valentine’s Day on February. Just as a reminder to all Muslims out there (including me in here), don’t ever, ever celebrate valentine! Because originally valentine is objected to celebrate the degradation of Islam.

And talking about love gives me some ideas for this post. I’ve came across this lovey dovey things since forever, I mean philosophically and theoretically. The question like;

What’s the difference between ‘like’ and ‘love’?

Because obviously saying ‘I like you’ is different than saying ‘I love you’
And even in Malay language we’ve been constantly discussing about issues like;

What’s the difference between ‘suka’ and ’cinta’

And again people will particularly be careful whether to say ‘saya sayang awak’ or ‘saya cinta awak’ (in this case maybe ‘sayang’ and ’cinta’ are more confusing)

Talking about these 2 languages reminds me of an Arabic class few months back when I was supposed to present a topic about ‘al-hubb’ (love). Well, lucky me there’s only one word stands for love in Arabic language unless there are other synonyms I haven’t heard before. But of course there are other derivatives such as ‘mahabbah’, ‘mawaddah’ etc. What I want to emphasize here is that at the end of the day people will still go for

‘ana uhibbuki’ (subjected to female)
‘ana uhibbuka’ (subjected to male) or even
‘uhibbul umm’ (I love mum)

But now ladies and gentlemen, I’m neither going to present my opinion from the English language perspective nor Malay language perspective nor Arabic language. This time around LET’S GO FOR JAPANESE!! (Winks)

In Japanese there are 2 major words which mean love; ‘ai’ and ‘koi’. While as words to express love or to confess they have ‘suki’ and ‘aishiteru’. Well, if you come across these while reading mangas or watching Japanese dramas

‘kimi ga daisuki’ (I like you)
‘aishiteru’ (I love you) it’s often said as short without subject or object highlighted

Obviously ‘aishiteru’ is a derivative of ‘ai’ itself while ‘suki’ is indirectly usually associated with ‘koi’. So let’s see the difference between ‘ai’ and ‘koi’

Japanese people like to refer to their kanji characters. When we look at the kanji word ‘shitagokoro’ which means low heart (hasad dengki/tidak berhati perut), basically ‘shita’ means under while ‘kokoro’ is heart. Then ‘kokoro’ is spelled with the radical ‘koi’ situated at the base of the kanji. With this 'koi' is said to have ulterior motive. But when we look at the kanji ‘ai’ there’s radical ‘koi’ in the middle of the kanji. Literally said ‘ai’ is actually surrounding ‘koi’.

Whoops. Are these too complicated for you? Sorry. Let’s go for another opinion.

‘jou’ means compassion (sympathy, empathy, concern, kindness, consideration, care). And as conjugative word in Japanese they often used ‘aijou’ but not ‘koijou’. Literally said ‘ai’ has more compassion than ‘koi’

This also won’t do? Ok let’s see the simpler opinion. Some people say ‘aishiteru’ is often used as the top of ‘suki’. As my personal opinion, the Japanese often used ‘koibito’ as referred to couple who are in love, but they never say ‘aibito’. As to conclude, how am I to say this? Even if it’s not ‘koi’ anymore, and even if you’re not like ‘suki’ or anything, if you’re able to live normally, I thought that was ‘ai’. For example when people got married, for sure they won’t use ‘daisuki’ anymore because they are no longer ‘koibito’. The feeling of love has gotten even stronger and able to be nurtured for the rest of the marriage and that is ‘ai’.

P/s: Wonder where did I come out with such ideas? Actually this topic of ‘suki’, ‘koi’ and ‘ai’ was brought forth by Kanjani 8 during one of their concert in Tokyo in 2007. The credit goes to BAKA NO SEKAI SUBTEAM for the fansub. Thanks! (winks)


It’s a festive! Happy Chinese New Year to everyone! Particularly to those who celebrate it. LOL I remember back in school when I used to be listed as ‘people who celebrated Chinese New Year’ along with few other friends because of our fair complexion and small eyes. It’s going to be holidays until Tuesday and Alhamdulillah I manage to get back home safely this evening. Along with Sis Addie departed from KL at around 10.30 am this morning and as expected, the traffic was bumper-to-bumper congested all the way from the onset of Sungai Besi Toll to Seremban. We were stuck for about an hour and half and the temperature was getting higher as the sun was setting perpendicular to our shoulder. I was sweating like hell as if I were to melt anytime. Then I remembered when Miss Que, my English lecturer asked the whole class to write a journal entry of ‘what would you do if you have a million ringgit in cold hard cash’, as a normal human being honestly I had listed quite a lot and one of it is to be a regular member in a top class spa and sauna in Malaysia because I always wanted to have a nice relaxing sauna experience. But I guess now I can simply neglect the wish, because the condition in the car was already a so-called sauna LOL. Why sauna? What’s so good about it? FYI ever since hundred years ago sauna has been considered as a part of culture in certain countries such as the Russian banya, the Native American sweat lodge or inipi, the Turkish hamam, even the Japanese onsen (hot spring).

Let’s learn a bit of Physiology!

During a 10-20 minutes sauna session, the heart rate increase by 50-75%. This provides the same metabolic result as physical exercise. The increased cardiac load is equivalent to a brisk walk. There is a nominal effect on blood pressure because the heat also causes blood vessels in skin to expand to accommodate increased in blood flow. Blood vessels become more flexible and there is increased blood circulation as high as 50-70% of cardiac output (compared to the standard 5-10%). This brings nutrients to subcutaneous and surface tissue resulting in glowing healthy skin. Saunas induce sweating to provide a comprehensive cleansing of the skin and sweat glands. Skin is the largest organ in the body; 30% of body wastes are passed through skin. Profuse sweating enhances the detoxifying capacity of the skin by opening pores and flushing impurities from body. When taking a sauna, skin temperature rises to 40 degrees and internal body temperature rises about 38 degrees. This stimulates the immune system resulting in increased production of disease fighting white blood cells and antibodies.

So overall, that’ why they say sauna is good for your skin complexion and also good in enhancing blood circulation.

P/S: Original article is adapted from SAUNAFIN Saunas & Steam baths.

LauGHTer iS tHe BesT MediCiNe

We hear this quite a lot don’t we? I believe there’s some scientific reasons behind it but haven’t been able to Google it out yet. Anyways let’s just go with the flow. The story that I’m about to tell this time around is actually not originally mine. Can’t think quite precisely when I read this but perhaps somewhere in 2005 or 2006. It was a short gag written on the corner of a sport’s bulletin (during the sport’s carnival of course) published by one of the sport’s house in my school. It was a Green house and back then we called it ‘medicine’ (pronounced as medsa). It was a French word means medical. Here’s the gag;
(And of course it was in Malay)
Aku hanya seorang budak kampung yang biasa. Tapi Alhamdulillah tanpa disangka-sangka aku dapat tawaran masuk ke Sekolah Berasrama X. Sekolah X ni boleh dikatakan antara sekolah yang top dan elit kat Malaysia. Akademik bagus, bab-bab agama pun bagus. Kat Sekolah X ni la aku start belajar banyak benda pasal agama contohnya perkara-perkara sunnah yang Rasulullah saw buat. Nak dijadikan cerita, satu tengah hari yang indah ketika musim cuti sekolah aku dan adik beradik sedang bersiap sedia untuk menjamah makan tengah hari. Lima orang anak lelaki (aku yang bongsu) termasuk emak duduk bersila mengelilingi hidangan. Di saat semua orang duduk bersila, aku sorang je yang duduk lain sikit. Kaki kiri bersila atas lantai dan kaki kanan ditegakkan dekat dengan badan. Abang dah sedia nak sindir.
“Hah! Dah mula la tu nak tunjuk sunnah-sunnah yang dia belajar kat sekolah”
Adik-beradik yang lain sekadar senyum sinis.
Lepas je Along baca doa, aku pun start makan; dengan hanya 3 jari (maklumlah sunnah Rasulullah). Dan abang perli lagi.
“Hai, elok-elok ada 5 jari nak jugak makan guna 3 jari je. Boleh kenyang ke tu?”
Aku pun dengan selamba membalas.
“Alah abang, anak Cina pun boleh kenyang makan guna 2 batang copstik, takkan la makan guna 3 jari tak boleh kenyang kot” sambil menyuap nasi ke mulut.
Rasa puas hati dapat jawab. Kami teruskan makan dengan damai dan TIBA-TIBA…
Emak tercekik tulang ikan! Emak start terbatuk-batuk sambil memegang leher. Kelima-lima jejaka ini pun jadi panic gile!
“Wei! Kau kata kat sekolah tu belajar banyak sangat pasal sunnah ni. Takkan tak de sunnah cakap macam mana nak hilangkan tercekik tulang ikan?”
Kata abang sambil menepuk-nepuk balakang emak. Sudah tentu aku takkan kalah dengan sindiran abang lagi. Not ever. Dan aku pun berkata.
“Mak, mak relax, relax. Ok mak, sekarang mak ikut apa yang saya buat insyaallah boleh baik tercekik tulang ikan ni”
Aku pun sebenarnya dah terikut sekali panic. Abang pandang tak puas hati, aku ni nak ajar benda sunnah lagi ke?
“Ok sekarang mak angkat tangan macam ni”, sambil menunjukkan tangan kanan yang tegak parallel dengan kepala dan tangan kiri yang hanya diangkat paras bahu ala-ala superman nak terbang.
Emak yang tak berhenti terbatuk sampai muka naik biru menurut tanpa sepatah kata. Adik-beradik lain hanya memerhati dan cuba menenangkan emak.
“Ok mak, ni part yang paling penting nih! Sekarang mak cakap ‘I am SUPERMAN!’”
Nasi pun mula tersembur sana-sini. Semua orang ketawa terbahak-bahak termasuklah mak aku yang tercekik tadi. Dan dengan ini terubatlah tercekik tulang ikan mak aku tadi. Hehe…
And that was really the end of the gag. I don’t know if the effect that this story I typed to you gives the same impact as its effect when I first read it years ago. Frankly speaking I was laughing like hell. So moral of the story is that we shouldn’t play the fool with our beloved Prophet’s sunnah.
p/s: perhaps this is just a fiction and please note that the story has been edited a bit because I can’t really recall the exact language style. I hope there’ll be no copyright issue because I don’t know who was the original writer (winks). So the credit goes to the editor of Medicine’s sport’s bulletin back in 2005/2006.

Friday, February 12, 2010

He StiLL LovEs Me?

When hard things piled up and all I’m thinking about was taking sleeping pills so that I can stay unconscious for 68 hours straight

But I survived the hard things

When I was whining how the world sucks and started doing stupid things

But I survived the consequences

When I tried so hard but I still don’t know where I’ve done wrong

But I’m still able to get motivated over again

When I tried so hard and I got what I wanted, and tried even harder to get better only to show off

But I’m still able to stand back on the ground before getting too carried away

When I was down and depressed and felt like nobody cares about me at all

But I realized I’m still breathing another day ahead

When I suddenly feel like there’s no reason for me living in this world anymore

But I still can find the life in me again

When tears started rolling down my cheek non-stop and there’s no shoulder to lean and cry on
But I got through the epoch of tragedy

He will still listen to me
He will still give me chances
He will still forgive me

He will still accept me

Then only I’m able to get a grasp of..
How Allah still loves me..

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