surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness

surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness
dear lord embrace me with your blessings


Monday, April 16, 2012

Journey to AIMST #4 - my medical school is not that bad -

Done with the morning slots, after zuhur and lunch we had the preliminary round for sherlock session.

Sherlock session is actually a medical quiz. For preliminary, every delegates need to take part. We seriously didn't know there were a quiz during this convention. When we asked whether we need to study anything or do any preparation, they said 'you do not need to study, it's very simple and just enjoy'.

Ok. The questions were on antibiotics. All 40 of them, MCQ (no negative marking). I learnt them all, but last semester. God knows how much of them still stayed in my head. Anyway i had fun answering, it' not like they'll grade us or anything. We were informed that results will be announced on the next day.

Done with the quiz, next was a visit to anatomy museum, disection hall and clinical skills labs. Actually we have them all back in USIM, except that AIMST has more advanced technologies and mannequins in the clinical skill lab. I'm glad to know that my medical school is actually not that bad. Most of delegates from USIM even volunteered the catheterization, endotracheal intubation etc and answered questions regarding.

All in all, it's great to have such unplanned revision in a not so much stressful way. Alhamdulillah.

Up next is on the selection for debate teams and the debate discussion. Please anticipate.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Journey to AIMST #3 - let's mingle around -

7th April 2012

The Medical Students Convention officially started. As we were informed last night during the briefing, we'll be divided into groups. There were a total of 13 people in mine and remembering names were the hardest.

They say the beginning is always is always the hardest. I agreed with this since forever. We were a bit awkward at first, yes. But i was so grateful i had Tsu Min in my group! I met Tsu Min during the recent intermedical debate in UM and she's from UPM. At least we had no problem to start a conversation.

For morning session, we had 2 slots. Both were given by Jonathan Quek. A millionaire i presumed, and he's not even 30!

Now you can guess, the talk of course it revolved around entrepreneurship and investment. He talked about how we can make money and be rich. Overall it was a good slot, but as someone who is too concentrated to medical field, i would think twice to do whatever that he suggested. I bet all medical students would agree; we're still struggling and getting bruised all over trying to get the best grades, i don't think we have time for such commitment.

Other than that, talking about making money, investment, loans or anything. With all these conventional banking system,  it's kinda hard for us Muslims to get rid of riba' and any trace of gambling. My advice, if you're not sure with it go and ask the experts, if you're not clear with any hukum, refer to the trusted source. We need to keep anything that we're involved in clean from any form of syubhah and haram.

Back to mingle around!

As expected, we are the minority. Most of the delegates (they called it delegates instead of participants, sounds so exclusive) are non Malay. So what language do you think dominated the atmosphere? No need to think much, it's English.

English is just a language, some of you might say. These people are all Malaysians and of course they understand Malay language. So you'll take English as an option and not your prior medium. But let me tell you, if you were in my shoes and choose not to speak English, you might feel a little bit (if not a lot) intimidated.

Now my personal opinion, we don't just need English to keep up with the non Malays. For god sake, we don't need to speak English just to let them know that a Malay too can speak English. But because of the races and religions difference, i think by making the language medium different too it's gonna leave everyone a hard time to find similarity with one another.

English. Important or not important. You decide. I vote for 'english is very important!'

Coming up next is preliminary round for sherlock sessions and visit to the clinical skills labs.

the motto

the great hall from afar

Journey to AIMST #2 - the precaution -

I've never been so close with anyone from different races and religions since more than 10 years ago. My best friend when i was little was a Chinese and we stopped contacting each other when i transferred (i was 9, it was the time when even mum and dad didn't own cell phones, let alone facebook)

Ever since, i grew up in a pretty much purely 'malay' environment. Though i did joined any other events and tournaments and do mingle around with everyone, but to the extent of sharing room, that has never happened before.

But surprisingly, they're actually very sweet. Apart of they initially walked into the room with their shoes on (we settled that properly), the rest was ok. They're so friendly!

And actually i've got this a lot, everybody in the room said i looked pretty much like a Chinese girl myself. And sure i need to thank Allah for that, at least it won't take me too long to adapt along with them (except that i don't speak Chinese).

Since foods will only be provided starting Saturday, 7th April then we have no choice but to buy ourselves dinner. That Friday night after maghrib, we headed to the cafeteria (they called it students gallery).

The precaution? Well maybe most of you aren't very well informed that AIMST has Indian students as the majority. We passed the food counter one by one wondering what should we eat. And the most important question is 'are all these foods halal?'

I don't know when, but my friend Mujahid had went and asked them bout the foods. They said all the foods are prepared by Muslim Indians and only 2 are not. And they strictly do not allow pork and beef into the kitchen (you know for what reason).

Right. Then 3 of us ended up with instant noodles bought at the convenient shop, few of us ended up with burger, one ordered fried noodle, and the rest ate roti canai.

So much precaution on our first night there.

We'll see how did it goes for meals on the  next days. Till then, please anticipate.

ps: not to mention the difficulties we had to get our qiblah right in the room. but alhamdulillah everything was ok.

students gallery. double storey. huge and cool.

Journey to AIMST #1 - the dilemma -

Let alone the packing part, the not-enough-sleep-reading-CH part, the worrying part, the rushing-after-CH-paper part, the missed-bidding-farewell-to-friends part.

But the dilemma stayed. I was stepping into the bus and still wondered 'is attending the convention the right thing to do?' and 'will i be alright there?' or 'what will they ask us to do there?' and 'am i able to adapt'.

Adaptation. Many may think it's not even an issue to begin with. Like it's only over the weekend for god sake, why the hell you need adaptation for? Just go and get it over with.

But in my case 1) it was time when i supposedly be home since it's mid semester break 2) a place where over 200 medical students gathered, it could be a little intimidating. So those are what made me in dilemma whether i should  go or not.

But i hopped into the bus anyway, enjoyed my 6 hours journey and reached AIMST.

I stepped off the bus with mixed feelings still. I have an instinct that we'll be the minority ones. The ones head covered with scarves instead of  hair.

It was 5.30pm and we were the 2nd (after Newcastle University) to arrive. Not having my own sweet time to properly pack earlier, at least i've got my own sweet time to properly unpack since briefing will start at 10pm.

The committees treated us very warmly. It was their first attempt to hold this Medical Students Convention and of course they were trying their best to provide the best service. That calmed me down a bit. But i was dumbfounded later knowing me and the the rest of the girls were put into separate rooms. They had the names listed alphabetically and the next thing i knew, i was in the same house with 11 Chinese girls.

That was about the registration. I shall write more on what was happening later.

Ps: sorry for the late entry. I was off writing mood for a moment

first impression of AIMST. big and modern.

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Journey to AIMST #Prologue - insight-

I personally think that insight is very important. I'll get to that later.

Many times we need people to refer to. Be it in any aspects at all. Or people even come to us because they claim they wanna help you. They believe they have what it takes to help you and they believe they can help you.

Without you knowing, the next thing you do is sit down listening to them, wowed by their achievements, nodding head with their suggestions.

How many of us really fell for these kind of things? How many of us go and listen to such talks, got our eyes and minds opened but by the time we walked out of the room, the transformation didn't even last?

How many of us go and listen to such talks, got our eyes and minds opened but by the time we walked out of the room, we still don't know what we want, what are we living for, what are we fighting for, what are we dying for?

Everything needs to start small. And each kick-start needs a plan. That small step needs maintenance to keep things up.

Let me tell you what. No matter how good the speakers are, how beneficial the advice may seem, remember to filter them. Don't just digest it straight away.

Talking bout insight, the most successful people is the ones who know what they want in life, and what they want in afterlife.

The greatest people are the ones who can stay balanced in all aspects in life. Not having mind and soul only concentrated in one area and literally ignore everything else that's happening around them.

The world isn't an ideal place to live in. It's a scary place to live in. People cheat, backstab, betray, overtake others, selfish. Everyone have their own personal interest. And remember, even if this is the so-called pattern how the world works, it doesn't mean you have to follow them.

Fight for what you believe worth fighting for
Live for what you believe worth living for
Stand for what you believe worth standing for.

Insight is important. Know yourself; know your purpose of life. And may I repeat. No matter how good the speakers are, how beneficial the advice may seem, remember to filter them. Don't just digest it straight away.

try to trace me. i'm exactly, precisely at the centre of the pic

Monday, April 9, 2012

Continue where I left off

Peace be upon you
May His rahmah be upon you

Now let's continue from where I left off.

24th & 25th March - Konvensyen Bidadari Dunia in PICC
30th & 31st March, 1st & 7th April - USIM Vice Chancellor Cup Debate
2nd - 6th April - Mid semester exam
7th & 8th April - National Medical Students Convention in AIMST, Kedah

I didn't join the USIM Vice Chancellor Cup Debate because of the mid semester exam preparation, too bad. And right after our last paper, Community Health on Friday at 10am, one hour later; 11am was our bus to AIMST, Kedah. Everything happened so fast that I didn't get to keep my very own pace.

Honestly I've missed writing a lot. Mostly because of time commitment. But, since we're on mid semester break now (1 week), I guess I'm gonna have to spend some time updating something beneficial.

Talking bout National Medical Students Convention, it was an awesome experience. I've learnt a lot, and definitely I've got a lot to share! So while I'm trying to compose nice entries for you guys, please do anticipate.

Actually I just reached hostel this morning at 4am. And now I'm actually at Terminal Bersepadu Selatan, writing to you while waiting for my 4.30pm bus to Kluang.

This Thursday I'm heading to Kelantan to attend our 3rd wedding of the batch on Saturday. Barakallahulakuma :)

Anyway to all my colleagues, happy holiday!

Till then, that was zawani zainudin writing to you.

spoil mood cuti tak telak gambar ni? tak kan? hehe

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

With You

Raef - With You (cover)

I need Allah,
And the hearts all over the world tonight.
I said there's hearts all over the world tonight

What can I do?
I need Allah,
And the hearts all over the world tonight.
I said there's hearts all over the world tonight

Wish I was smarter, when I was younger.
Found something better - made me a winner and,
I'm so glad to be Yours!
It's my life that you own.

I start my journey when You forgive me
I swear my whole world stops.
You are in my heart and, I'm so glad that its fine
You are One truly kind...

You lighten me!
(I) Feel it, through and through, and
For sure ya Rabbee, there ain't nothing You can't do!
Because if I got You,
I don't need money!
I don't need cars!
Lord, you're my all!

I'm into You my Lord,
No one else would do!
With every test you put me through,
the miracles, you help me do..
And now I know I can't be the only one,
I bet there's hearts all over the world tonight,
with the Love of their life who feel...what I feel when I'm

With You, with You, with You, with You, ya Rahman!
With You, with You, with You, ya Raheem!

I don't want nobody else
Without You there's no one left and,
the Master of judgment day,
I got to have Your love and I cannot do without,

If I got You,
I don't need money!
I don't need cars!
Lord, you're my all!

I'm into You my Lord,
No one else would do!
With every test you put me through,
the miracles, you help me do..

With You, with You, with You, with You, ya Rahman!
With You, with You, with You, ya Raheem!

And I will never try to deny,
That You are my life,

Because if You ever let me go I would die!

So, I won't front!
I don't need another mission,
I just need you as my vision!
If I got You, I'll be straight,
Rabbee I need you every day!

I need Allah...
And the hearts all over the world tonight,
I said there's hearts all over the world tonight
What can I do?

I need Allah...
And the hearts all over the world tonight,
I said there's hearts all over the world tonight

Rab ighfirly
Fantal kareemuu!

Wa3fu ya rabbee
Fantar raheemuu!

With You, with You, with You, with You, ya Rahman!
With You, with You, with You, ya Raheem!

Ps: in the middle of reading mycology for exam tomorrow!

Sunday, April 1, 2012

I'm still here

Peace be upon you
Allah's rahmah be upon you

I haven't been updating for so long, I know. But I'm still here. I mean literally I wasn't going anywhere and I'm not going anywhere. Still in to-and-fro motion. My life revolves around hostel and campus, everyday. With the peripheral activities, tournaments, events, conventions etc. Just like any university students out there, just like any other medical students out there. But what makes me different, and perhaps what makes you too diferent, is when we set our intention to do all these, to live this life SOLELY BECAUSE OF ALLAH.

Now that was quite an introduction ain't it. Quite an introduction for someone who has abandoned her blog for weeks.

Sincerely there were a lot of things happened, a lot of things happening, and a lot of things going to happen in the future. Can't do much about what had happened except to learn from it or to treasure it. For what's happening all I can do is to give my best for it. And as for what's going to happen, anything that I know of, I need to be mentally and physically prepared. And for everything that I don't know of, let's just hope Allah will plan them beautifully for me.

General isn't it? I wasn't telling what's it all about. But hey, I think that suits each and everyone of us, this happens to us right.

I don't know if I can keep you guys updated for the time being. Maybe not, and I'm quite positive after this entry, you'll have to wait maybe another 2 weeks or more for another blog post. One word. BUSY.

Busy. Yes. But I will always pray to Allah, to not let me be too carried out with this business of dunya.

Anyway the main thing that I wanna say here is of course;

1) to apologize for the hiatus
2) I wanna kinda let all of you know that, from this moment and onwards perhaps my writing style will be a bit different. How different, you have to anticipate that.
3) I'm on twitter now! Since I rarely posted my updates here and as well as on facebook. You can just follow me on twitter. Refer to the right panel, below my 'about me' column.

I never thought I would fall for that blue bird too

Talking about facebook and twitter. So far I've been running these both account independently to each other. But then when I tried to connect my twitter to facebook so my friends could catch up with my updates, suddenly it just feels a bit awkward.

1) awkward to post too many tweets at a time
2) awkward when there are more people on facebook than on twitter
3) awkward when people start commenting on my tweets on facebook
4) awkward when more people start accessing my twitter

So I concluded that I should keep my twitter away from facebook. To see it from a bright side, it's pretty much like a promotion and publicity.

Actually I really have to keep this post short. Mind you. Mind me. My mid semester exam starts tomorrow. Monday to Friday.

I should've smack my head for logging onto my blooger account at the first place. *dushdushdush*

A writer would always be a writer I guess.

Till then. Please anticipate my updates.

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