surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness

surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness
dear lord embrace me with your blessings


Monday, January 21, 2013


I need to come out with a solution to keep myself occupied at leisure (not that I have it abundantly) but I have natural talent to push priority things to the periphery and make believe that I don't have better things to do and start to think about all the unnecessary things.

Yeah. I do over-think a lot.
Too much that I think it's bad for my health.

Friday, January 11, 2013

What I Love About FPSK

I went hangout with a bunch of friends from the Main Campus, Nilai a few days ago. Two of them are currently doing degrees in Laws and another one in Applied Physics. I was so excited telling them how clinical setting is.

For those who didn't know, Universiti Sains Islam Malaysia (USIM) with its Main Campus centralized in Nilai, Negeri Sembilan consist of 6 faculties and a Foundation Centre (Pusat Asasi).

Fakulti Sains & Teknologi (FST)
Fakulti Syariah & Undang-Undang (FSU)
Fakulti Ekonomi & Mu'amalat (FEM)
Fakulti Pengajian Quran & Sunnah (FPQS)
Fakulti Pengajian Bahasa Utama (FPBU)
Fakulti Kepimpinan & Pengurusan (FKP)
Pusat Tamhidi (PT)

While the other 2 faculties; Fakulti Perubatan & Sains Kesihatan (FPSK) and Fakulti Pergigian (FPg) are located in Ampang. Reason being, because USIM does not own a Pusat Perubatan yet so we take Hospital Ampang as our teaching hospital, along with Hospital Temerloh (HoSHAS which is 2 hours away by car). Also Hospital Tampin specifically for Community Health posting.

Being referred by people in the Main Campus as 'budak Pandan' (because our place in Ampang is near Pandan Indah), we return the favor by calling them 'budak Nilai' with no mean of disrespect of course. It's sad being away from the Main Campus. It's as if we're isolated and we're very close to being the black sheep of the family. I don't mean to give our admin the bad impression, we're still grateful with the facilities, accommodation and all.

Annually, our faculty FPSK will organize an event called The Inter-Faculty Scrabble Competition which will be handled by students in the sophomore year. Main objective is to introduce Pandan Indah Campus to everyone in Nilai and other than that of course to develop skills via this intellectual board game. It has been 8 years since FPSK was established (since 2004) and up until December 15 last year (2012) we've held 8 series of Inter-Faculty Scrabble Competition every year without fail! Alhamdulillah. And the main objective always left achieved.

I remember during my time when I was in second year and the rest of the committee members were my batch mates as well, worked so hard to plan, to promote and to organize. We needed to call every faculty to ask for participations, personally go to the Main Campus handing out flyers to the students. Confirmed participants and supporters noted to provide them transportation.

For the very recent Scrabble Competition, this friend of mine went to join the tournament. More than he enjoyed the game, he enjoyed his one day stay at the faculty. He told me that Pandan Indah Campus is such a nice place with a nice bi'ah. He's trying to say that 'budak Pandan' apparently appeared more, how should I say this, more 'baik' than 'budak Nilai' even more than some students from FPQS. He somehow fail to justify the statement. I need to agree with him, even though I myself fail to justify that too. It's hard to say, maybe not just because of the people, or what we wear, but the atmosphere itself.

Another friend of mine uttered something interesting too over dinner. She personally thinks 'budak Pandan' is good in everything they do. In everything we do. Studies. Well-groomed. Classy. Confident. Recently we have Inter-Faculty Vice Chancellor Cup Debate, the Malay debate team went to the Finals against FSU. In fact we've gone to the Finals for 3 years in a row. And for the recent Sukan Fakulti, FMeD (that's FPSK+FPg) won the overall champion for 3 times in a row. Basically what Tyra tried to say was, we Medic and Dental students are the perfect package.

I was sitting there amazed at myself at how these people actually see the Medic and Dental students as. I thought all this while nerdy and 'skema' are the only description they have. I could only laugh, some of what they said were true but maybe a little bit overrated.

So this is what I told them:

1. We do study a lot because we're medical students. That's our pathognomonic character. No argument.

2. We're staying near KL baby. Yeah. We need to be classy.

3. We're a JPA scholar. Money is less likely a problem.

Pardon my manner. Ok let's talk real business.

4. Being in Pandan, it's such a small community. Even so, we need to organize a lot of things ourselves. FPg has their Dental Student Club (DSC), FPSK has our Medical Student Club (MSC). Not to mention we need to send candidates for MPP and JAKSA (for kebajikan kolej kediaman). At the end of the day, almost everyone in the building end up with a post and responsibility organizing this event and that event.

5. Being excellent in sports, I think we desperately need to show them we sweat too (just kidding, of course we do have talents). Same goes with debate, yeah we do speak.

6. It's something to do with the field itself. The professionalism. We're ought to be confident, to speak, to present ourselves. To be more practical. We're trained to be the cream of the cream (it's the same with other medical schools). I'm sure you don't want a doctor with a hunch back, holding a paper, trembling by your bedside at the hospital.

Bi'ah solehah.

Exactly the word. This is what I like most about my faculty. Now that he has mentioned it, maybe I should write a bit about it.

What can be more beautiful than being in a place or around people who without fail able to make us always have Allah in our remembrance?

Maybe it's the nature of the course. Medicine is a tough subject if anybody would agree with me. Let alone the stress. This is my 4th year and HE knows how much tears I've shred along the way. When was the last time you feel so helpless that it struck you hard in the face, why worry if we have Allah with us? I've learnt that if it wasn't because of Him, if it wasn't because of the great friends and forever supportive family He sent me, I won't be able to stay in medical school.

Maybe it's because I have great friends with great personalities. Who joined usrah on regular basis. Active with NGOs, attending volunteering events and occasions with magnificent speakers. So eventually the bi'ah is built beautifully.

Maybe it's because of the syllabus. Memorization of Quranic Verses (Hafazan) is our subjek wajib fakulti. A serenity you can't describe when having the whole class with a Holy Quran each in our hands repeating verse by verse. Subhanallah. Now that I'm writing about it, I'm so very grateful to have experienced that. The feeling I won't want to trade with anything else in the world. I want to carry that beauty of His Words within me wherever I go insyaAllah.

All in all, Allah is The Turner of the hearts. This is one of the blessings He showered me with. Alhamdulillah.

Like what Ustaz Nazri always reminds us 'Sentiasa cari ruang untuk Quran'

A reminder to me, and to all.

Ps: Heard that the new VC decided to build USIM's very own hospital. HUSIM? insyaAllah :)

Thursday, January 10, 2013


Day 6 post-exam or I shall say day 6 post-General Surgery posting or day 6 post-7th semester; any which you like. To sum up General Surgery I’d say it has been an awesome 7 weeks of posting.

The moment when you’ve stayed up all night studying everything related to your case presentation but when your specialist asked simple questions, you’re still unable to answer it.

The moment when the patients you’re assigned to and been followed up for weeks passed away and you ended up weeping along with the family members.

The moment when it’s no longer awkward to access patients’ abdomen, breast or per-rectal examination because you know how important early detection for cancer is.

The moment when you're kneeling down in front of a patient examining his scrotal swelling in front of 30 other students.

The moment when you can’t think straight because your favourite MO/HO is right next to you.

The moment when you’re still inexperience in venipuncture or what to do in an emergency case when patient needs to be resuscitated but ended up being a part of the rescue team because you’re there.

The moment when the class representative says ‘class in five minutes’ but you’re still having lunch.

The moment when you still need to come to the hospital on public holiday and be on standby for class that only started at 6pm and ended at nearly 8pm.

The moment when patients ask you can they be cured when you know they couldn’t because it’s stage 4 cancer with metastases.

The moment when it’s your patient who’s more positive than you do about life that you know it’s how HE constantly sends you messages and reminders.

I’ve learnt a lot during the posting. But I know even so, there are a lot of other things I can’t cover.

Mr.Ragu. The infamous Mr.Ragu whom everyone has been talking about. Turned out he's such a nice guy. A funny guy too. I'm serious. I'm looking forward to meet him during 6th year to see if he still remember me 'the fertilizer'. I can't believe of all incidences, that's what he decided to address me as.

It was during a case presentation when we discussed about what are the risk factors for breast cancer and the usual 'ritual' was he'll jump from one student to the next to ask questions. Came my turn and he asked

'why is estrogen so significant to the risk of breast cancer?'

 so I answered

'because estrogen is considered as the breast fertilizer so anything that increases one's exposure to estrogen is a factor'

Mind you. I was serious. I was not intended to make any joke. About estrogen being the breast fertilizer, that was Mr.Hamsan the specialist from Ampang Hospital told me when I attended his clinic.

The next thing, that's what he's been calling me. The Fertilizer. Nevertheless I'll always respond to him with a smile, one eyebrow raise and a 'Yo whats up Doc' look.

Talking about exam, just like the seniors said it’s 90% luck no matter how much you’ve studied. Anything could happen during the exam. We have 3 ultimate rules to pass the clinical exam;

1.      Easy straightforward cases
2.      Patients cooperating to the max
3.      Kindhearted examiners

And above all it’s all about how we rely on HIM. It’s all that matters.

So this is the end of semester 7. Done with Community Health and General Surgery. Coming up next are Medicine and Obstetric & Gynaecology. My group will start with Medicine and the other with O&G. Before that, let’s enjoy the 2 weeks holiday! :D

Us with Mr.Ragu

 Ps: It's no longer taboo to talk about breast, scrotum. Vagina? Wait until you do O&G.
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