surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness

surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness
dear lord embrace me with your blessings


Saturday, January 16, 2010

PsYcHoLoGy TesT

What is one animal you wish to keep as a pet and why

Or so it was, the entry for our English language journal last week. I've waited forever to post this and only now am able to. On the day this topic was 'declared' I immediately got my pet decided. And coincidentally on the same day back in my room, I downloaded a variety show of my current favourite Japanese boyband; Kanjani 8. The theme this time around is Psychology Test. Watanabe Ken a famous love psychologist in Tokyo was invited as a guest.

Then the guest went asking Kanjani 8 members "What animal would you wish to keep as a pet and state the reason why". And here comes hilarious answers from the boys;

Yokoyama You:
Dogs because they're friendly

Nishikido Ryo:
Killer whale because they're about the biggest on Earth and they're the best of the best
Yasuda Shota:
Tigers because they're cool and strong and they have beautiful pattern

Ryuhei Maruyama:
Hyenas because they work so hard to stay alive and keep down-to-earth

Shibutani Subaru:
Elephants because they're bid and cool

Murakami Shingo:
Siamese cats because they're expensive and only kept by rich people

Then the guest revealed the truth behind their answers. Psychologically the reasons they gave described the quality they wish people would give them credit for, they'll be most happy when people compliment them as such.

The studio went laughing out loud

Unfortunately my favourite Okura Tadayoshi the drummer wasn't on the show for some circumstances. Ahh.. How I wish to know his reasons.

Anyway, that was it about the psychology test.

p/s: I chose white stallion because they're beautiful (winks)

Saturday, January 9, 2010

ArE YoU SiNgLe?

"Lately there's a popular trait that we call 'annoying' in Japan"

Hanazakari no kimitachi e episode 2

I've finished watching this drama since months ago, but suddenly I came across something in my thoughts that reminds me of the drama. The topic is annoying. I don't think only Japanese people are dealing with the overflowing traits of annoying people, even I am surrounded by annoying people around me.
Let's narrow the scope to annoying guys. I'm not accusing all, you can give yourself credit for not being annoying I would say. This is the lame situation I kept facing over and over;
Text messages
most guy: hye! busy ke?
most guy: tgh wat ape?
lame guy: hye! bleh kacau?
lame guy: hye! bleh kite kawan?
annoying guy: do u have a boy friend?
annoying guy: kite mesej2 ni boy friend awak x mrh ke?
or in short people will directly ask
"are you single?"
Lord gimme a break. Why can't these people be more creative and cool. Again I'm not saying all guys are, but most guys yes. Beacuse I've definitely came across those who are cool enough. I wonder how would they feel if we're swapping places. And I think I'll come out with a brilliant idea.
i'm thinking about asking 'are you single?' to my guy friends
and see how they'll react

wHat'S iN a NamE?

“What’s in a name? Roses by any other name would smell as sweet”
Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare
This time around, it's not that I want to talk about literature =]
These are my siblings name and as highlighted, mine is the only that started with the letter ‘z’. Like I care, I love it though, it complements with my dad’s name; zawani zainudin. What’s with my name? It gave me memories and this is one of it;
This happened during my high school days. It wasn’t really a high school, just an ordinary secondary school in a district about 2 hours away from home and not to mention it is compulsory for all students to stay in the dormitory provided. On the day of registration I got myself all mixed up with unusually distracting adrenaline rush, I even forgot to bring along my offer letter. God knows how trembled I was once I set my feet on the school ground. With the babbles of my mum which seemed likely not going to end, I slowly stepped towards the counter.
“Excuse me, I would like to register but unfortunately I didn’t bring the offer letter” seemed too polite for my type.
“Pardon me, how unfortunate. I’m afraid you cannot register without the offer letter. By the way, did you bring along all the information required for registration? The booklet that we posted with your offer letter” there were wrinkles on his head, probably because the day was getting hotter and I noticed he was trying to hide his tense.
“I didn’t bring that too” I said shortly as giving excuses was never really myself. He caught the stress in my face, the nerves as well. I felt like killing myself and wishing these were all just a dream.
“If that’s so, why don’t you check your name in this list and see if you really have received the letter from this school” handing the name list to me after inhaling deeply. It was the female’s name list and I started scrolling down for my name. Jumped a bit in the middle after I realized my name’s initial is ‘Z’.
None. It wasn’t there. My name was not in the list.
“My name is not in the list” I threw the words between my lips almost quietly. The atmosphere filled with silence before he finally spoke.
“I’m afraid if that’s so, I cannot let you register. We have to consider you haven’t received any offer and you are not the student of this school!” my lips parted and I felt my cheeks burning. Not the students of this school, I repeated from the corner of my thoughts. Just about my tear to fall I heard my mum called my name.
“Za!” we both turned to her, my heartbeat hadn’t stopped accelerating.
“I found your name, here” mum was pointing to another name list and guess what. It was the male’s name list. What the heck! Does Zawani Zainudin sound anything near to a boy’s name?
You decide (winks)

Friday, January 8, 2010

INnOcEnT ObsEsSiOn Part 2

I’m a freak
I’m creepy
I’m not normal
I’m weird
I’m odd
I’m inhuman
I’m eerie
Call me whatever and I am still me.

Ladies and gentlemen, I hereby am going to declare the ‘freaking’ part of me. I’m the kind who observes and listens. Wait! The creepy part is coming real soon..
I enjoy listening to music so much and when I said I listen, I really mean it. There will be certain songs that I fell in love with the first time I heard it. As for example;

Only One by Yellow Card
The Ghost Of You by My Chemical Romance
Everything You Want by Vertical Horizontal
Monsoon by Tokio Hotel
Thunder by Boys Like Girls
And the list doesn’t stop here.

And once these songs literally took my breath away, I will unconsciously repeat listening to it over and over again not less than 40 times non-stop! As a girl who ‘celebrates’ music as a part of art, everything in the song that caught my heart is able to anesthetize me. First I’ll listen to the song as a whole, then I’ll carefully try to catch the lyrics, acknowledging the lyrics are even beautiful, then I’ll let myself overwhelmed with the voices, then I’ll tune in to the sound of guitar including the bass, the next will be the addictive beating of drum, then I’ll move to the indulging resonance of the violin, if there’s a share of a piano, then I won’t miss it too. Above all, the more I listen, the more I want to keep listening; a positive feedback mechanism you could say. When and how will this stop?
When there comes another good engulfing song.
This time around, one beautiful song has found its way to my heart (that’s way too dramatic!), and I can’t help it but kept listening to it. Here’s the lyrics;

Code by Nishikido Ryo
Ima boku yori hitotsu futatsu saki wo susundeta kimi no shouko ga
Ukibori ni natte chinmoku yubatte kureru kara
Chigau dareka no hanashi de gera-gera moriagatteru furi shiteru
Demo sono egao mada mitetai kara kotoba nomikomu
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Ima ijou wo hoshigaru boku wa seken shirazu na gaki desu ka?
Motomeru yori mo ataero to satosu no desu ka?
Eien nante nai yo to kensei shitemo ii
Demo boku wa ne hikatte mitai tomo ni tatoe isshun dake demo
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Kimi wo irodoru subete no youso wo boku ga mamotte miseyou
Nani ga atte mo soba ni iyou
Kimi ga kanashimu subete no youso wa boku ga ubau kara
Mou sukoshi dake ai wo ai wo ai wo

Afuredasu kotoba omoi kitte itta "ai shiteru..." hazu ga
Nou kara no shinmei wo mata muishiki ni boku dake no angou ni kaete
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Kimi ni mune hatte kono omoi todokerareru hi wa kuru ka na?
Dareka ni hokoreru boku de irareru ka na?
Kimi ga iru no nara nandatte kanaerareru sonna ki ga suru kara
Todokeru ne ai wo ai wo

Kimi wo irodoru subete no youso wo boku ga mamotte miseyou
Nani ga atte mo soba ni iyou
Kimi ga kanashimu subete no youso wa boku ga ubau kara
Arittake no ai wo ai wo ai wo


Right now, you were one, two steps ahead of me, your evidence
It becomes evidently shown because it breaks the silence
Pretending to laugh and have fun with someone else’s stories
But I want to still see that smile so I swallow my words

Am I a kid who doesn’t know anything about society for wanting more than what Ialready have?Are you reasoning to the fact that I should give more than what I actually want?
You can restrain me by saying there’s no eternity
But I would like to shine together, even if it was only for a moment

All the factors that makes you colorful, I’ll be sure to protect it
Whatever happens, I’ll be next to you
All the factors that make you sad, I’ll take them away from you
Just a little bit more love, love, love

The words that pour out, I tried and said, “I love you…” should have been
The orders from my brain again, without knowing, changed it into a code only I understand『☆#%◎X…』

Being proud, is there a day I can tell this feeling to you?
Can I be the ‘someone’ that you can be proud towards someone?
If you’re there, anything can be granted, I felt like thatI’ll send it to you, this love, love, love
All the factors that makes you colorful, I’ll be sure to protect itWhatever happens, I’ll be next to youAll the factors that make you sad, I’ll take them away from youJust a little bit more love, love, love『☆#%◎X…』

This part is the most addictive!

The words that pour out, I tried and said, “I love you…” should have beenThe orders from my brain again, without knowing, changed it into a code only I understand

As i quote what Nishikido Ryo said

"the lyrics sound really good, in the chorus instead of saying I LOVE YOU it has changed into symbols. Those symbols Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! was suppose to meant I LOVE YOU right from the start"

Actually the song is about a guy who fell for a girl, and he's unable to confess because everytime he intended to, the word that's suppose to be 'i love you' has been misinterpreted by his brain, and changed into a code that only he understands. Ain't it sweet?!

p/s: to those who wish to listen to the song, Here's the link
full credit to vendy@blogspot for the video and translation (winks)


This is going to be my first entry for the year 2010 and it's already a week past new year. Anyway, it's not a big matter after all is it? Talking about new year then people will start talking about new year resolution (I'm pretty much sure this topic has faded a bit and kinda lame). How important is it to have a new year resolution? And if you ask me, I can't be so sure I have one. Because I treat a new year resolution and my aim of life pretty much the same.
People tend to list out their resolution every New Year because they wanted to start fresh and ever since I finished high school, things don't work that way anymore. Because I believe a new principle and resolution can be made and achieved whenever you feel like it. No need to wait for early next year plan for improvement and enhancement in life. Instead the sense of awareness must come from the inside of us. This reminds me of a talk a month back. The key to change yourself to a better person is the turning point. It's like clicking a switch on. The analogy is simple; the room is dark and nothing can be seen. As to be able make the room brighter, we need to find the switch. Now the process of finding won't always be easy (as to talk about finding a turning point in life, it's going to need another different chapter). What I want to emphasize here is that, definitely we as a Muslim don't have to wait for a new year to change, but once the time has come that we found our turning point of life, then don't ever hesitate to make a change.
Another interesting topic when it comes to a new year is that everybody will started to wish their friends best wishes of a happy new year. Telephone lines are getting busy with New Year's message coming in. everybody started to ask family and friends what is their plan for a new year countdown. Looking back at how a new year of 2010 is celebrated make me think deep a bit. How did we as muslim celebrate our new year 1431 H last month? How many of us recite the doa akhir tahun and doa awal tahun as what our Prophet Muhammad s.a.w did? How many of us recite the Yasin 3 times as to 'celebrate' the New Year Hijrah?
I don't want to answer this and I believe neither do all of you. This is not a question to be answered but rather a point to ponder for all of us.
Anyway, above all I didn't say acknowledging the new year Masehi is a bad thing. So still, I'm going to wish all of you a happy new year 2010. may all of us is blessed by Him insyaallah.
p/s: I even got more new year 2010 best wishes compare to new year 1431 H.
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