surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness

surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness
dear lord embrace me with your blessings

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Monday, October 8, 2012

For those who're willing to read

Have you read all my entries for the trip? No? Well that's expected. I know people don't usually pay full attention on what I'm writing. You won't be reading line by line carefully unless you're in an attempt to stalk me or you actually admire me secretly. And very rarely you are undeniably a real fan of this blog. Other than that, I suppose 80% of readers just scrolled down this page only looking at the photos.

But anyway. Keep on scrolling down if that's the only thing you feel like doing and keep reading if that makes you happy. I might gonna write a long entry.

It has been more than a month since I last updated the blog. And there were a lot of things happening that I'm dying to write about. But surprisingly I didn't because certain things that happened really required me to pull myself together. So I guess distance, time, and space are the best way out. I found this formula helpful and applicable to a lot of things, even in blogging.

Writing has always been my passion. I started writing diaries when I was 9 and kept them going for years. When I read back all the pieces, it reminds me how big I've grown, how strong I've become, how far I've stepped.

Why did I choose to write and keep all the diaries? Well, what do you do if you have a lot to tell but no one to tell it to? You write. And I wrote them down carefully, each and every single things that happened without fail.

As time goes by, I noticed I am writing less than I usually do. Even though I do not write for a living but just a hobby, but not writing makes me feel like something's missing.

I know I don't write so great and blogger is the only place I have to pour all my thoughts and rattles. This blog is one of the best virtual hang out 'place' I love among other social networking sites.

Truth is there were times when I thought to myself that I should stop updating for a while. It's when writing doesn't serve up its purpose to me right. It hurts my pride when I'm not myself. When I need to hold back what I really wanted to write about just because I need to please what others expect me to write. It sucks writing but when I read it over again I feel fake! Because there are things that I need to be careful with so people won't judge me or bash me. It feels so plastic when I'm unable to write my way because I know a lot of people are watching and I'm afraid my flaws would show. Silly me.

It happened sometimes. And when it does I decided to be on hiatus. I don't wanna write to impress people. I don't wanna write to let people see how good I am preaching on these and that.

I write because it's what I grow up with; papers and a pen. Later they were all translated to words via keyboard. Whatever I write might not reflect me as a whole. But it does reflect me to a certain extent.

What do you do if you have a lot to tell but no one to tell it to? You write.

So I shall write for those who're willing to read.

3 comments:

^Laila^ said...

I'm always willing to read anything you write here,dear. ;-)

Zawani Zainudin said...

thanks lel! thanks a lot!!! :D

Yasuu Amaya said...

your writings are very interesting . of course i'm willing to read it ^^

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