surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness

surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness
dear lord embrace me with your blessings


Friday, February 14, 2014

Next time I smile to you, please smile back and mean it

Salam and hi!

So near yet so far. This is something literally and figuratively. Imagine being side by side to someone (or even talking to them) yet you still do not feel connected. What have gone wrong? Sometimes it's nothing personal but you just cannot reach their heart and they cannot reach yours. 

Believe me I have asked myself this for ages.

I don't always get to look at people in the eyes and talk to them or smile. But I have tried a lot of times. Just because I want to spent a very short moment even if it was only for a few seconds that there's only us and let's forget about everybody else around. For that few seconds I would give my most genuine smile and waiting for them to smile back.

There are always two reactions.

1. Those who will smile back right away but ask why
2. Those who will smile hesitantly and make weird face and ask why

And I will always answer 'nothing, I just wanna smile to you'. Then there's another two reactions.

1. Those who will continue smiling
2. Those who will say 'oookaayyyy' and continue an awkward smile

Touching hearts is not easy. How often do you feel connected to someone by just looking at them in the eyes? Or by just holding their hands for a few seconds or by talking to them.

Did you mean what you said? Did you mean what you did? Did you mean how you felt?

I wanna mean what I said. I wanna mean what I did. I wanna mean how I felt.
And exactly what I've been trying to do.

Nevertheless sometimes I just gave up on some people. Those who continuously checking up their smartphone while talking to me. Those who do not even bother to look at me in the eyes while talking to me. Those who do not put their whole heart into words they said.

So from that day and onwards I treated them the same way. Sometimes I do try to fix things but there are times when some things have gone too far that you can't get them back. Some things are just badly broken that you can't do anything to fix it. Some things just do not want to be fixed!

I did not gave up on you. You gave up up on me first.
I am aware myself needs fixing too. I need more hearts to touch and I wish more will touch mine. I want heart connection.

Maybe I still have issues with those who abuse smartphones and become ignorant.

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