surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness

surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness
dear lord embrace me with your blessings


Monday, November 29, 2010


It was a quiet night. While the cry of a million cicadas broke its silence, I found myself spending the rest of it in front of my lappy googling what polyp is. They say reality is cruel, but who am I to agree for in the same dose I was granted blessings. I know this is going to be hard and deep down though I felt like crying, I kept on telling myself not to because;

1. I’m a big girl now
2. Crying won’t change a thing
3. For some people they’ll claim this ain’t even worth crying for
4. Perhaps sooner or later I too will realize this don’t deserve my tears

A small lump that grows inside the body, especially in the nose, that caused by disease but is usually harmless
-Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary 7th Edition-

Really it’s not harmful? Then why on earth should you undergo polypectomy!

You knew it! You knew it, don’t you? All along and you never made it public until that very late February. You claimed you just needed a break. Only the truth is a polyp had actually been discovered in your throat during a check-up. And of all this while you’ve turned into a selfish self-centered person by kept on postponing the operation because you’re busy. Why must you be this innecessary silly when you know the polyp would day by day grow bigger?

That night I can’t even tell, whether it was called concern or upset; perhaps acute anxiety. So I persisted to worry about you as I scrolled down the screen.

This polypectomy
Is it anything close to tumor?
Could it somehow lead to haemorrhage?
What’s the survival percentage?
Would it affect your vocal chord?

Would it affect your vocal chord? What if it does? What if it does and I can no longer tell your voice when I heard you from afar?

That voice that I needed to hear the most…

To be continued...


^Laila^ said...

hmm.. sape yg ade polyp ni??

balqis said...

lollypop? :P

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