surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness

surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness
dear lord embrace me with your blessings


Sunday, November 14, 2010

Holding on till the end

It’s like it’s-the-last-one-i-just-wanted-to-do-it-fast-and-get-over-it-and-go-home kinda feeling. Ever felt that way? When you’re holding on to one thing too long that you nearly gave up, well that’s not quite it – gave up wasn’t the point I’m trying to sell, perhaps just a feeling of fading up a little. Whether we realize it or not, it happens a lot if not as a de novo sentiment, as a cliché phenomenon.

This happened to me copiously when I was a debater back in school, joining the HKSBP (Hari Kecemerlangan Sekolah Berasrama Penuh), a one week tournament gathering a total of 54 boarding schools all over peninsular and the west. With matches almost everyday, I missed hanging out with my debater colleagues and trainer up till 3 in the morning in the quarantine room. We always came with high enthusiasm; the time we stepped off the school bus on the day of registration. Somehow as days passed, with inconsistently winning and losing mathes alternately, often when it comes to the last match if not all, some of us would be so much degraded mentally. Now that’s what I meant, the feeling of you don’t care whether it’s a win or a lose, you just wanted to get it over fast. But of course the formal dinner bit was never disappointing. Me and me bff’s favorite event of the night was to ogle the potential flirting friends of the opposite sex so that we can have free breakfast the next morning before going back; all back to those days when exchanging mails and phone numbers were just a mild crime.

Next is about the exam; what we medical students were destined to live with or even to die with. This recent end semester exam for instance, a week of alternate days’ paper, how we secretly sighed ‘cepat la masa berlalu, tak sabar nak abes nih’ sort of stuff. Am I wrong? Up until the crucial last minutes of exams, we all are struggling physically not to doze off in front of exam paper, emotionally not to get distracted over small unnecessary things, spiritually not to lose hope in ourselves and most important in Him.

So the highlight of today’s entry was on yesterday; the IVG. Inter-Varsities Games held in UKM. Sports tournament organized by AMSA (Asean Medical Students Association). Freshly after coming out from the exam hall and I was proposed to play for the netball team; proposed? More to instructed lol. If you remember my previous post on the Inter-kolej kediaman sports, FYI that was really the last time I played which means a month has passed without me doing any physical training. Sudden urge to go play on court, oh my lord! Usually I get to play defense, but not yesterday, since we’re lack of reserves I was kindly forced to be the Center; yeah the one who does ball passings every after each goals. If I was the defense, I would only run around the 2/3 of the court, but now that I’m the Center my territory widened into ¾ of the court except D region. Despite this tiring and breath-gasping running within zone I was netball-ethically allotted, I figured myself happily running here and there chasing the ball lol. Maybe I should consider to be one next time. And oh, we won 2nd place out of 8 teams.

1st game: USIM vs IIUM (3-3)
2nd game: USIM vs UPM (5-1)
3rd game: USIM vs UKM (9-1)
Semi-final: USIM vs UiTM (3-2)
Final: USIM vs IIUM (2-6)

The 1st game was a tight one, and yes it’s the same IIUM team we met during the finals. The semi-final was heart-pounding too. The game initially went draw; 1-1 after the 14 minutes plays. Then we were dragged to play in extra time. 3 center passes started with UiTM ball possession but we scored 2 points first and thankfully the victory is ours, Alhamdulillah. Went against IIUM, it was the final game. The sun was perpendicular above, my sweat was boiling, my skin was cooked, my heart was near to cardiactomy, with lactic acid accumulated in the lower limbs, like I said, I can’t help but to anticipate the game to over extra soon.

Guarding outside D-region. The left C was me and the right was C from UiTM

To wrap it up, I love this game better than the one I played in Nilai last month because we get to play 7-1-7 minutes plays rather than 5-1-5 (I suppose less). Hey that extra 3 minutes is extra vital Ok.

Alright now let’s go to the side dish. The tug-of-war game! My oh my, this one was so exciting. The tug-of-war team ends up in 3rd place. 3 matches overall but let me draw attention to the most dramatic match; 2nd one. The gentlemen were against the team from UKM. As they were struggling from the onset of the game, we know this is going to be hard. Size-wise yeah maybe it’s the advantage of UKM, but I don’t know whether the Earth too favored UKM lol. It was a less-than-5 minutes matche and the final momentum of UKM team’s tow, we all witnessed a near violence-histrionic fall of USIM team. They fell figuratively and dragged for nearly 2 feets forward and I don’t lie. Oh my god, I still hope their backs are fine. Anyways gentlemen, good job!

Last pose before the dramatic fall

Now allow me to sum up. Hey I’m still in topic people, the last minute fade up stuff we’re talking about earlier.

True as for ordinary human, we can’t run away from getting weary over things. How lame may be the image of holding on till the end, even so we can’t get fade up easily, worst to give up. Life won’t give you a way if you don’t fine one. I don’t know if I’m in the right position to say this but as a dai’e no matter how hard to let people hear you on the right things, no matter how long it takes, just ask Him to give you strength. Because weary heart and soul only lead you to disgrace. Allahu Akbar!

Ps: I was proposed to join the Royal Debate this coming 17-22 Dec
Pss: Happy holidays dear Al-Razians. Take care and see you guys in 3 weeks time
Psss: This is the 98th post. The 99th post is going to be about somoene special. Please anticipate

Footnote for Ps: Good news it's in Johor! UTHM Batu Pahat. Bad news Kak Atikah retired already and she's not going.

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