surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness

surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness
dear lord embrace me with your blessings


Tuesday, February 7, 2012

The first time after such a long time part 2

Everything started needs an ending, we all know that. If not there must be some sequels of it. That's why here I am writing this and here you are reading it.

This is the second episode of my previous entry 'the first time after such a long time'. A sequel? Maybe more like the consequences. The consequences I need to take responsibility of now, another bus ride back to KL that is.
A few days prior to today when I answered mum I'll go back on Tuesday (ready imitating the puss in boots eyes hoping mum would decode that), from across the dining table mum offered me a negotiation: 'we can send you back, but on Monday'

Right. By car (plus by mum) on Monday or by bus on Tuesday. Okay I know we all would do anything to delay even another extra day at home before the holiday ends, but the offer is still tempting.

If my decision to go back by bus is considered a faith, then it has started shaking and in jeopardy upon mum's offer. I never thought making this type of decision would be this hard. I told mum I have to think about it.

Surprisingly yesterday mum brought that up again. You see, sometimes I think it wasn't just me who feel reluctant to go back, perhaps mum too feel reluctant to send me off every time. But happy ending hasn't arrived just yet, my little brother overheard the conversation.

It always upsets him when it's always me who gets all the attention. And yeah I admit that sometimes it made me feel like I am the baby of the family and not him. To cut the story short, I stick to the original plan; I'll take the bus. Bottom line.

The packing process didn't start until this morning. I guess my packaphobia has never completely gone away.

Set aside the risk of going back alone via public transportation, another thing I despise is how the trip 'back' has always left me twice more stuff to pack than the trip 'go'. It always fascinated me where did all the extra stuff come from, or rather were there a little witch around the house casting a spell on me so that everything I see appear attractive?

Sisters. Apart from lending a shoulder, an ear, giving a word or two at the right time, what are sisters for? Nope unfortunately my sister weren't around to help me packing this time. She was out early for hockey training, a coach. Her students' tournament is tomorrow (good luck to that!)

I took back my white sneaker she borrowed
She took back the shawl she gave me
I took back the dress I gave her
She wanted my old mp4 player
I took her other shawl
She took my charger adapter

And wrapped it with a smile. Now that's what real sisters are for.

Coincidentally my earphone broke down and if it wasn't because my bag is full, I swear I would have taken her brand new headphone. There's no other solution to this, unless mum really insists to send me back or mum allows me to drive one of her cars which she won't until I'm at least in 4th year (let's just hope she'll stick to that) then my only option is to keep stuff to the minimum.

Finished packing and off mum and I went to town for ticket-hunting. It was 10am and my bus was at 12.30 noon. Within 2 hours I was hoping we would go around Swiss Polo or Carlo Rino sightseeing handbags like we always do. But I never thought our mother-daughter window shopping this time would be me accompanying mum with groceries shopping.

30 minutes before departure, mum was still sitting beside my at the platform waiting. A few feet away sat one cute guy. If I were the old me, I would have wished badly for our seats on bus to be next to each other. But nah, thanks. I've decided to cut off that flirty side of me for good.

3 hours ride, and here I am to post you an entry.

Our 6th semester starts tomorrow. By the end of it, is our second professional exam. But the nearest nightmare is to wait for our end semester 5 exam results. Tongue-tied. Let's just pray while we can.


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