surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness

surrounded by crowds doesn't chase away literal loneliness
dear lord embrace me with your blessings


Friday, February 10, 2012

Decent Disclosure

I started blogging because of one reason; people around me said that I should. And that was years ago. After a while then I noticed I always had this satisfaction after pressing that 'publish' button at the bottom of my 'new post' options. And it adds up the pleasure knowing I have permanent readers though there aren't many that I know of. And to stay positive, I assume those lack of comments after each of my entries despite the increasing traffics as some virtual support from my silent readers.

Nah I'm not offended. And to keep staying positive I assume that's because I administered this blog in English so people don't wanna bother heck of a mind to comment.

Being among the few still-posting-blogger within my classmates, not to mention those who posted once a month, and let alone any other abandoned blogs, the least thing I wanna expect is seeing the same blog post on your right side of the page not updated for weeks.

That obviously shows (as it seemed) that I am the only one out of other 56 colleagues of mine who still got time dating the laptop screen, flirting with the keyboard, ogling god knows what these social networks have to offer instead of developing a comfortable long relationship with Mr. Robbins or Mr. Katzung or Prof Adel (his notes I mean).

Ah the excitement of blogging has deteriorated a bit. That isn't the only thing bugging me.

I've always faced this dilemma of how should I approach the readers. Some people named their blogs after the very honest side of them and sure their entries lived up serving the names. And yes most of these blogs have over hundreds followers, let alone the generously huge self-publicity headers giving out amateur poses.

Forget me and my dilemma.

Talking about being honest, we all have an honest side of our own. It could be that honest side we show to others on a regular basis or that honest side that won't come out until we're all by ourselves or when we're with close friends, and for some when they're with strangers.

On these different levels, the reason behind them also differs.

The honest side in front of everyone
The honest side when you're with close friends
The honest side around strangers
The honest side when you're alone

I stumbled across some readings, that's what the psychological theory we called the masking phenomenon. Where we tend to suit ourselves relative to who we're with. Or in short those are the sides of us which won't come visible unless triggered, provoked, metaphorically invited by the particular people or atmosphere.

Let's save the argument whether or not these are real honest sides we/people put on and not some sort of typical hypocrisy.

All of these aren't a bad thing at all and after all, they named it psychological theory which by right should be a normal phenomenon occurring to everybody. But personally I think it could be real wrong if we take it to the extremity.

For instance by being too absorbed with each of the different personalities we portrayed at different occasions, some people especially those suffer with psychological conflicts might believe they're having bipolar disorder.

I'm talking based on experience.

If I were to ask you this 'do you think I have the sides that I didn't show to you?'

Well let me answer that for you. I do. I have it.

I have this blog you're reading and my facebook for everyone who knows me
I started a twitter account for close friends (though some of you might have tracked down that account)
I have a tumblr to serve the strangers
And another blog which I made private that no one could access it.

Each of the medium, perhaps shows independent sides of me respectively.

Why did I do that?
Self satisfaction maybe

Why did I tell this?
Take it as a decent disclosure

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