Cold

It's so silent here
That I can hear the fan spins above
The water boils inside the kettle
Fine pops of cereal submerged in a bowl of milk
The sound of raindrops

The rain
It does not always rain here
When it rains I feel cold

But you
You're cold though it's not raining

I wonder if you would realize that
I wonder if you even notice me

Conversion and Conservation

I remembered learning this in Physics a few years ago. The law of energy conservation. The energy is never lost and wasted. They're just converted into another form of energy. Like the potential energy you used to knock the door, is transmitted across matter and particles causing vibration and converted into sound energy. Maybe that's how it works, I barely remember. But that's about it.

Every other things are the form of another. Nothing is really wasted.

I went for a jog and saw some leaves on a tree eaten by caterpillars. They're full of holes with bitten lesions, the leaves I mean. You might think the leaves are wasted. There's no way it could return into its old original pattern but to stay as it is now or wilt. But to look at it on the other hand, that caterpillar gets to eat, grow, live, and maintain the ecosystem. So that part of missing little bits of leave is actually never lost. It is safe within the caterpillar, inside it.

To think that those leaves have already served their purpose as in to feed the caterpillars (apart from providing us oxygen), if they can really talk they would probably have said 'I am happy seeing the caterpillar happy'.

Many things in life, when it happened you can't always have it both ways.
Our loss could be someone else's gain.
Our happiness could be someone else's grief.

But there's always one thing we tend to forgot.
This life isn't suppose to be fair.
You wanna know which life is?
It's the hereafter.

We always hear this 'things happened for a reason'
And it's true.

Have you found the purpose of your life yet?

because nothing lasts forever

Solution

I need to come out with a solution to keep myself occupied at leisure (not that I have it abundantly) but I have natural talent to push priority things to the periphery and make believe that I don't have better things to do and start to think about all the unnecessary things.

Yeah. I do over-think a lot.
Too much that I think it's bad for my health.

What I Love About FPSK

I went hangout with a bunch of friends from the Main Campus, Nilai a few days ago. Two of them are currently doing degrees in Laws and another one in Applied Physics. I was so excited telling them how clinical setting is.

For those who didn't know, Universiti Sains Islam Malaysia (USIM) with its Main Campus centralized in Nilai, Negeri Sembilan consist of 6 faculties and a Foundation Centre (Pusat Asasi).

Fakulti Sains & Teknologi (FST)
Fakulti Syariah & Undang-Undang (FSU)
Fakulti Ekonomi & Mu'amalat (FEM)
Fakulti Pengajian Quran & Sunnah (FPQS)
Fakulti Pengajian Bahasa Utama (FPBU)
Fakulti Kepimpinan & Pengurusan (FKP)
Pusat Tamhidi (PT)

While the other 2 faculties; Fakulti Perubatan & Sains Kesihatan (FPSK) and Fakulti Pergigian (FPg) are located in Ampang. Reason being, because USIM does not own a Pusat Perubatan yet so we take Hospital Ampang as our teaching hospital, along with Hospital Temerloh (HoSHAS which is 2 hours away by car). Also Hospital Tampin specifically for Community Health posting.

Being referred by people in the Main Campus as 'budak Pandan' (because our place in Ampang is near Pandan Indah), we return the favor by calling them 'budak Nilai' with no mean of disrespect of course. It's sad being away from the Main Campus. It's as if we're isolated and we're very close to being the black sheep of the family. I don't mean to give our admin the bad impression, we're still grateful with the facilities, accommodation and all.

Annually, our faculty FPSK will organize an event called The Inter-Faculty Scrabble Competition which will be handled by students in the sophomore year. Main objective is to introduce Pandan Indah Campus to everyone in Nilai and other than that of course to develop skills via this intellectual board game. It has been 8 years since FPSK was established (since 2004) and up until December 15 last year (2012) we've held 8 series of Inter-Faculty Scrabble Competition every year without fail! Alhamdulillah. And the main objective always left achieved.

I remember during my time when I was in second year and the rest of the committee members were my batch mates as well, worked so hard to plan, to promote and to organize. We needed to call every faculty to ask for participations, personally go to the Main Campus handing out flyers to the students. Confirmed participants and supporters noted to provide them transportation.

For the very recent Scrabble Competition, this friend of mine went to join the tournament. More than he enjoyed the game, he enjoyed his one day stay at the faculty. He told me that Pandan Indah Campus is such a nice place with a nice bi'ah. He's trying to say that 'budak Pandan' apparently appeared more, how should I say this, more 'baik' than 'budak Nilai' even more than some students from FPQS. He somehow fail to justify the statement. I need to agree with him, even though I myself fail to justify that too. It's hard to say, maybe not just because of the people, or what we wear, but the atmosphere itself.

Another friend of mine uttered something interesting too over dinner. She personally thinks 'budak Pandan' is good in everything they do. In everything we do. Studies. Well-groomed. Classy. Confident. Recently we have Inter-Faculty Vice Chancellor Cup Debate, the Malay debate team went to the Finals against FSU. In fact we've gone to the Finals for 3 years in a row. And for the recent Sukan Fakulti, FMeD (that's FPSK+FPg) won the overall champion for 3 times in a row. Basically what Tyra tried to say was, we Medic and Dental students are the perfect package.

I was sitting there amazed at myself at how these people actually see the Medic and Dental students as. I thought all this while nerdy and 'skema' are the only description they have. I could only laugh, some of what they said were true but maybe a little bit overrated.

So this is what I told them:

1. We do study a lot because we're medical students. That's our pathognomonic character. No argument.

2. We're staying near KL baby. Yeah. We need to be classy.

3. We're a JPA scholar. Money is less likely a problem.

Pardon my manner. Ok let's talk real business.

4. Being in Pandan, it's such a small community. Even so, we need to organize a lot of things ourselves. FPg has their Dental Student Club (DSC), FPSK has our Medical Student Club (MSC). Not to mention we need to send candidates for MPP and JAKSA (for kebajikan kolej kediaman). At the end of the day, almost everyone in the building end up with a post and responsibility organizing this event and that event.

5. Being excellent in sports, I think we desperately need to show them we sweat too (just kidding, of course we do have talents). Same goes with debate, yeah we do speak.

6. It's something to do with the field itself. The professionalism. We're ought to be confident, to speak, to present ourselves. To be more practical. We're trained to be the cream of the cream (it's the same with other medical schools). I'm sure you don't want a doctor with a hunch back, holding a paper, trembling by your bedside at the hospital.

Bi'ah solehah.

Exactly the word. This is what I like most about my faculty. Now that he has mentioned it, maybe I should write a bit about it.

What can be more beautiful than being in a place or around people who without fail able to make us always have Allah in our remembrance?

Maybe it's the nature of the course. Medicine is a tough subject if anybody would agree with me. Let alone the stress. This is my 4th year and HE knows how much tears I've shred along the way. When was the last time you feel so helpless that it struck you hard in the face, why worry if we have Allah with us? I've learnt that if it wasn't because of Him, if it wasn't because of the great friends and forever supportive family He sent me, I won't be able to stay in medical school.

Maybe it's because I have great friends with great personalities. Who joined usrah on regular basis. Active with NGOs, attending volunteering events and occasions with magnificent speakers. So eventually the bi'ah is built beautifully.

Maybe it's because of the syllabus. Memorization of Quranic Verses (Hafazan) is our subjek wajib fakulti. A serenity you can't describe when having the whole class with a Holy Quran each in our hands repeating verse by verse. Subhanallah. Now that I'm writing about it, I'm so very grateful to have experienced that. The feeling I won't want to trade with anything else in the world. I want to carry that beauty of His Words within me wherever I go insyaAllah.

All in all, Allah is The Turner of the hearts. This is one of the blessings He showered me with. Alhamdulillah.

Like what Ustaz Nazri always reminds us 'Sentiasa cari ruang untuk Quran'

A reminder to me, and to all.

Ps: Heard that the new VC decided to build USIM's very own hospital. HUSIM? insyaAllah :)